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Court rules “Vegans: Eat Bacon and Shut Up”
In a historic judgement, Chester Magistrates Court has ruled that vegans must eat bacon and shut up. The decision, announced earlier today, means that...
Country with no players but billions of dollars mysteriously wins Asian...
Qatar, a country with no footballers of note and no history in football, has mysteriously won the Asian Cup Final, defeating four-time winners Japan.
Qatar...
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Entertainment
Mrs Brown’s Boys Beats Off Stiff Competition To Be Crowned WORST THING OF 2020
TV 'comedy', Mrs Brown's Boys, has won the coveted title of 'Worst Thing of 2020'. The award celebrates the thing that has the biggest...
Gammon Furious Polish Immigrants get their own ‘station’
A particularly angry gammon, from Ellesmere Port, was reportedly FURIOUS today when he saw that Polish Immigrants had their own station. Kevin ‘Brains’ Thomas,...
English FA announces team will boycott second half of World Cup (Again)
The English Football Association has announced the England Football team will boycott the second half of the World Cup in Russia, in protest against...
Tommy Robinson Announces De-Colouring Book
Conformity champion and former EDL leader, Tommy Robinson, has appeared on morning television to announce his de-colouring book. The new book hopes to tap...
Vue Cinemas to offer financial advice to customers buying popcorn
The FCA (Financial Conduct Authority) has announced it will regulate all sales of popcorn in UK cinemas from next month. The moves comes after...
Man shot 6 times by police for celebrating St George’s Day in Ellesmere Port
An Ellesmere Port man was, this morning, shot and killed by police for celebrating St George's Day. The man, 27-year-old Tom Bates, from Girton...
Beluga XL not big enough for your Ma
The Beluga XL has arrived in Hawarden, after flying over Chester and Ellesmere Port, to pick up your Ma. Unfortunately, despite its enormous size...
‘Is this a library?’ updated post-Brexit to ‘is this a factory?’
The popular sarcastic football chant 'Is this a library?', sung by away fans at football grounds, has been updated following Brexit.
The chant is a...





































































