Business
CeXual harassment victim sacked from CeX
Twitter user @gothepleb has detailed an account of where she says she was sexually harassed by a colleague when working for the high street...
Government hires YODEL to deliver Brexit
In a move of unrivaled incompetence, the Tory government has hired parcel-delivery shirkers YODEL to deliver Brexit. YODEL, it was revealed by...
Lifestyle today
Entertainment
Cinema-goers enthralled by man talking through film
Film fans at a recent screening at the Vue Cinema, Cheshire Oaks, were left enthralled by a man from Birkenhead who talked right the...
Local tip voted third best day out in Ellesmere Port
The Ellesmere Port tip has been voted the third best day out for local residents, in a recent survey, it has been revealed.
The tip...
Veganuary bollocks prompts man to treble his meat consumption
An Ellesmere Port man is so pissed off with all of the Veganuary crap from hippies and students that he’s taken to eating more...
Rick Astley gives you up following stint in rehab
Quiffed 80’s icon Rick Astley has finally kicked his reliance on you after spending three weeks in rehab.
The Lancastrian entertainer famously insisted he was...
Louie Spence announces the gays will hit Texas with another hurricane
Louie Spence has convened a meeting of the nation’s top gays to discuss the recent accusations from religious leaders. The gays have been blamed...
Queen wins Chester’s inaugural gurning competition
Her Majesty the Queen arrived in Chester this afternoon to enter the town’s inaugural gurning competition, where people attempt to make the most unpleasant...
FIFA awards 2026 World Cup to highest briber
A huge suitcase stuffed with cash was said to be the deciding factor on choosing the destination of the 2026 World Cup.
FIFA today revealed...
Man disappointed to find ‘Women’s Breast Stroke’ meant something else
Dean Thomas, from Ellesmere Port, was disappointed today when he had cleared his afternoon to watch the final of the Women’s Breaststroke.
Dean, who usually...
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