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English F.A. accidentally appoints wrong Neville after Phil answers Gary’s phone
The English F.A. was left red-faced this morning after they realised they had appointed Phil Neville instead of Gary Neville as the manager of...
Post-Brexit citizenship test to include cheering when barman drops a glass
There’s nothing more British than revelling in another’s misfortune, and that will be tested in the new citizenship test to be implemented after Brexit.
Rather...
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Chester Zoo Successfully Breeds Dinosaurs
A Chester Zoo spokesperson, has confirmed the news the science world has been waiting for decades to hear: Chester Zoo has successfully bred the...
Ellesmere Port terrorised by big metal sky dragon
Ellesmere Port residents live in the grip of fear of a great mechanical beast that flies through the night skies, spreading terror to the...
3-Second Rule Becomes UK Law post Brexit
The popular '3-second rule', where it is believed that food that has been dropped on the floor is fine to eat so long as...
Furbies provide valuable insight into future Trump / Boris meetings
As whimsical feckless moron, Boris Johnson, moves closer to taking control of the United Kingdom, a pair of Furbies has shown what a future...
“I Told You I’d F*cking Get Rid Of Her!” – Kate Middleton yells at...
The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, shocked onlookers today with a foul-mouthed outburst directed at Meghan Markle.
Middleton, who was in Chester to open new...
Jayda Fransen to front new Daz: Whiter Than White campaign
Britain First pin-up, Jayda Fransen, has been selected to front a new TV campaign for the washing powder Daz.
Fransen, who recently had some tweets...
December best month for spotting shit neighbourhoods, says property guru
Property guru Phil Spencer, one half of ‘Kirsty and Phil’ from TV’s Location Location Location has claimed that December is the best month for...
Drivers who hog the middle lane to be put on a register
A new law will come into effect next year that will see middle-lane hoggers put on a register.
The law, which passed with a Commons...
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