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Gammon Furious Polish Immigrants get their own ‘station’
A particularly angry gammon, from Ellesmere Port, was reportedly FURIOUS today when he saw that Polish Immigrants had their own station. Kevin ‘Brains’ Thomas,...
We’re out out, stop asking if anyone’s seen us – say...
The nation’s cats have issued a statement saying they’re out out, not just out, and they’re fed up of people asking if anyone’s seen...
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Entertainment
Louie Spence announces the gays will hit Texas with another hurricane
Louie Spence has convened a meeting of the nation’s top gays to discuss the recent accusations from religious leaders. The gays have been blamed...
Chester FC Confirms Club Will NOT Be Joining European Super League
A club spokesman for Chester FC has confirmed the club will not be joining the proposed European Super League.
The new plans have seen English...
Whitby Park Summer Jam 2018 to be women only
Next summer’s Summer Jam, in Whitby Park, is to be for women only on the Saturday – it has been revealed.
The event was a...
CeXual harassment victim sacked from CeX
Twitter user @gothepleb has detailed an account of where she says she was sexually harassed by a colleague when working for the high street...
Beluga XL not big enough for your Ma
The Beluga XL has arrived in Hawarden, after flying over Chester and Ellesmere Port, to pick up your Ma. Unfortunately, despite its enormous size...
“Don’t turn this rape into a murder” voted best northern chat-up line
In a recent poll of the best chat-up lines used in the north of England, the outstanding winner with 67% of the votes was...
Harry Kane changes name to ‘Black Lives Matter’ and claims every goal scored this...
Tottenham striker, Harry Kane, has officially changed his name via deed poll to Black Lives Matter and has lodged a claim with the Premier...
Ellesmere Port Church Embraces April Fool’s Day with ‘Man Rises from the Dead’ Prank
St Thomas and All Saints Church, in Ellesmere Port, has embraced the spirit of April Fool’s Day today with an elaborate prank about a...
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