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Thomas the Tank Engine arrested in Operation Yewtree sting
Another children’s TV icon has fallen by the wayside as 80s favourite Thomas the Tank Engine has been implicated in a sex-abuse scandal following...
Car 300,000 miles from earth has Audi ‘up its arse flashing...
A car owned by suspected Bond villain Elon Musk has been launched into space in order to orbit Mars. However, the car has already...
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Entertainment
HR explains error of man’s Secret Santa vibrator gift
A Chester man has been hauled in front of his firm’s HR department after purchasing a vibrator as a Secret Santa gift for a...
Scientists PROVE giving birth ‘not that painful’
LEADING scientists have today proven that the ‘pain’ women claim to feel during childbirth is, in fact, not that painful at all.
For many years...
Big Sam follows Paltrow with ‘Sweaty Bollocks’ Candle
Big Sam Allardyce has followed celebrity weirdo Gwynelth Paltrow by releasing a set of candles that whiff of his genitalia.
Actress, author and all-round nut-job...
Sainsbury’s announces “it’s f*cking Christmas, Bitches!”
After months of shoppers asking when the Christmas offers would go up, Sainsbury’s in Ellesmere Port today answered that question – October 2nd.
Traditionally Sainsbury’s...
Local youth ‘PRAISED’ after shoplifting for others
A local Ellesmere Port youth, Steve Spanks, was praised by family, neigbours and even the local media after helping out his elderly neighbours during...
Avengers: Endgame posts £43.4m opening weekend after family of five buys popcorn
The epic conclusion to Marvel’s 22 movie saga, Avengers: Endgame, has posted a UK box office of £43.4 million after a family of five...
David Dickinson FURY as Corbyn admits HATRED of orange Jews
Bronzed TV host, David Dickinson, is enraged at the latest anti-Semitic outburst from Jeremy Corbyn.
In a recent appearance on the breakfast TV show, Saturday...
Trump gamifies executions with real games of HANGMAN
In an attempt to make state executions more interesting, and appealing to the public, President Trump has introduced the ‘gamification’ of executions.
Gamification is a...
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