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Queen watching Suits on Netflix to find out who Meghan Markle...
The Queen has been hurriedly watching Suits, on Netflix, in a bid to find out who this girl is who will be marrying her...
Ellesmere Port bids for European Capital of Culture
In a surprisingly pointless move, the town of Ellesmere Port has made a very late bid for European Capital of Culture, with the bid...
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Entertainment
Jim Davidson finds work as Saudi Arabia allows women drivers
Outdated cockney comedian Jim Davidson has become relevant in Saudi Arabia after they allowed women drivers for the first time.
The ‘comedian’, famed for his...
Ellesmere Port rejoices as ‘scratchies’ to become Olympic sport
Ellesmere Port was, this morning, rejoicing at the news scratch cards (or 'scratchies) would be an event at the next Olympics.
During many Olympic Games...
Rick Astley gives you up following stint in rehab
Quiffed 80’s icon Rick Astley has finally kicked his reliance on you after spending three weeks in rehab.
The Lancastrian entertainer famously insisted he was...
Ellesmere Port wins European grant for abandoned trolley installation art
There was a huge financial boost this week for the struggling town of Ellesmere Port, as it was awarded a European grant for its...
Wife slips into coma after husband’s Christmas fart
A woman has fallen into a coma following a particularly nasty fart released by her husband, this Christmas. The woman, 56-year-old Emily from Great...
2,500 people inadvertently sign petition BACKING Gypsy and Traveller site in Ellesmere Port
A double-negative has meant that over 2,500 people have signed an online petition BACKING the creation of a proposed transit site in Ellesmere Port...
Gerry McCann to play VILLAIN in Steven Seagal child-trafficking movie
Parenting expert, Gerry McCann, is to launch his acting career playing the villain opposite 80s portly powerhouse Steven Seagal in a new action film.
The...
Sooty confirmed as new James Bond
Popular children’s entertainer Sooty has been confirmed as taking over from Daniel Craig in the 007 franchise. Daniel Craig’s next film, due later this...
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