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Business
Beluga XL not big enough for your Ma
The Beluga XL has arrived in Hawarden, after flying over Chester and Ellesmere Port, to pick up your Ma. Unfortunately, despite its enormous size...
Trump Declares ‘The Tufty Club’ a terrorist organisation
Tangerine-coloured president, Donald Trump, this morning declared the radical furry outfit known as 'The Tufty Club' a 'terrorist organisation'.
The Tufty Club has operated beneath...
Lifestyle today
Entertainment
Geordie buys long-sleeved T-Shirt for Chicago trip
A 19-year-old Geordie lad, named Jon, has purchased a long-sleeved Tee for his trip to Chicago after learning of the extra-cold weather they're experiencing...
I’m a Celebrity swapping Bush Tucker Trial for Wetherspoons’ Lunch Menu
Popular z-list career revival show, I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, is swapping its famous Bush Tucker Trial for the more unpalatable...
Fire Brigade called to clear man’s Boxing Day shit
Shaun Swallows, of Girton Road in Ellesmere Port, caused the local fire brigade to be called out after his Boxing Day shit proved so...
New app allows drivers to indicate with their phone
A new app has been released that allows motorists to indicate left or right using their thumb, while they're driving.
The recent law change making...
Energy companies admit to government targets on culling pensioners
It emerged this week that the nation’s Big Six energy companies are helping the government to curb the population by culling elderly customers. The...
5ive looking for two new members for Ellesmere Port Summer Jam
90s boy band 5ive has announced they’re looking for two temporary members to perform on stage with them at the Ellesmere Port Summer Jam,...
Fans FURY as Meat Loaf now Halal
Singer Meat Loaf has sparked anger among his army of fans by becoming Halal.
Meat Loaf, or ‘Meat’ to his friends, has never appealed to...
The Voice winner once again forgets to tick box allowing publicity
This year's winner of The Voice, thingy, forgot to tick the box on their application form consenting to publicity. This oversight has happened every...
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