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Post-Brexit citizenship test to include cheering when barman drops a glass
There’s nothing more British than revelling in another’s misfortune, and that will be tested in the new citizenship test to be implemented after Brexit.
Rather...
Keith Richards crashes FaceApp server
Keith Richards, the 1000-year-old immortal who defies the laws of science and nature, was responsible for a server crash on the face ageing app...
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Entertainment
Gary Glitter to switch on Cheshire Oaks Christmas Lights
70s icon Gary Glitter has been revealed as the top billing for this year’s Christmas lights switch on at Cheshire Oaks.
The McArthurGlen owned designer...
Couple only staying together because they both like getting pissed
Chester couple, Tom and Debbie Shanks, have admitted they’re only staying together because of their mutual love of getting absolutely shitfaced.
The couple have been...
Veganuary bollocks prompts man to treble his meat consumption
An Ellesmere Port man is so pissed off with all of the Veganuary crap from hippies and students that he’s taken to eating more...
Fat kids turn to cannibalism as McDonalds closes for three months
As the shocking news emerged today that Cheshire Oaks McDonalds is closing for three months, Ellesmere Port’s fat kids have already started eating each...
New Season of LOST will be sponsored by YODEL
The TV series LOST ran for six seasons, finally finishing in 2010. It has just been announced that a new season of LOST will...
Lorry driver begins 20-minute overtaking manoevre
The driver of a Pound Stretcher lorry has just commenced a marathon 20-minute overtaking manoeuvre on the M42. The lorry driver is attempting to...
Mystery of STOLEN Ellesmere Port bikes solved
ELLESMERE PORT residents have been bemoaning the theft of bicycles around the town for many months, with seemingly no end in sight. The Chester...
‘Sorry About the Smell’ voted NEW Ellesmere Port town slogan
A competition to find a new town slogan for Ellesmere Port has found a popular winner, with the chosen slogan set to be used...
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