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Requests for ‘bouncy castles’ on Facebook confirmed as code for plus...
When people ask for recommendations for bouncy castles on Facebook, they’re really asking for recommendations for large prostitutes, it has been revealed.
Facebook users have,...
5ive looking for two new members for Ellesmere Port Summer Jam
90s boy band 5ive has announced they’re looking for two temporary members to perform on stage with them at the Ellesmere Port Summer Jam,...
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Entertainment
Cinema-goers enthralled by man talking through film
Film fans at a recent screening at the Vue Cinema, Cheshire Oaks, were left enthralled by a man from Birkenhead who talked right the...
Phil Jones appointed new Secretary of State for Defence
Manchester United ace, Phil Jones, has been appointed by PM Theresa May as the new Secretary of State for Defence for the United Kingdom.
The...
Liverpool agree £12m January deal for defender Juan Sheet
Liverpool’s leaky defence is to be shored up by Spaniard Juan Sheet, who ‘does the job of three’.
The Red Army’s defence was exposed again...
The Voice winner once again forgets to tick box allowing publicity
This year's winner of The Voice, thingy, forgot to tick the box on their application form consenting to publicity. This oversight has happened every...
‘All you can drink’ pub to open in Ellesmere Port
A new pub is to open in Ellesmere Port town centre with an ‘all you can drink’ for £14.99 offer.
The pub is part of...
Free Agent Messi Refuses to Rule Out Ellesmere Port Town FC
Lionel Messi, now a free agent after his contract with FC Barcelona expired at the end of June, is looking at possible clubs for...
Jeremy Kyle clears calendar after visit to Ellesmere Port
Bug-eyed aggressive chav baiter, Jeremy Kyle, has cleared his calendar for the next 6 months after spending 20 minutes in the Port Arcades in...
‘Is this a library?’ updated post-Brexit to ‘is this a factory?’
The popular sarcastic football chant 'Is this a library?', sung by away fans at football grounds, has been updated following Brexit.
The chant is a...
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