Restaurant goers in a local branch of Prezzo were delighted, this weekend, when a children’s seventh birthday party was booked at the same time.

Before the party entered, the mood in the restaurant was one of sombre dismay, with diners making polite conversation and eating their Italian styled meals. The atmosphere inside the restaurant was definitely missing something; a large group of hyperactive seven-year-olds.

Luckily, the Smythes had thought of that and booked the highly inappropriate venue for their daughter’s seventh birthday.


The faces of the other diners showed their genuine excitement to see twenty or so seven-year-olds enter the restaurant, and proceed to take up the large table in the middle of the room. The parents of the birthday girl, the Smythes, seemed oblivious to others in the restaurant, and were proudly beaming over the joy their organised party was spreading.

The father of the birthday girl, Tarquin Smythe, seemed concerned the children weren’t making enough noise. Luckily he had a load of party bags containing whistles, and proceeded to hand them out so the children could up their game in the volume steaks.

One restaurant-goer, Jane Price, was with five of her friends having Prosecco. She commented:

Our quiet lunch was shit. I was bored. What I needed was 20 seven-year-olds armed with whistles running up and down behind me.

After around thirty minutes of disruption, the children seemed to be flagging. Not to worry, as the birthday girl’s mother, Primrose Smythe, handed out sugary lollipops so they could all get their second wind.

Once the party had ended, the children wandered around the restaurant testing the integrity of the window, and the sturdiness of the wine racks, while the proud parents pretended nothing was awry.

The restaurant’s staff managed to avoid eye contact with any other customers throughout the birthday party.


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