Tangerine-coloured president, Donald Trump, this morning declared the radical furry outfit known as ‘The Tufty Club‘ a ‘terrorist organisation’.
The Tufty Club has operated beneath the radar of the United States, and in other countries, since the 1950s. Indoctrinating children with its colourful imagery and bushy tails, The Tufty Club has been enforcing a strict, radical left-wing agenda according to Trump.
Under the guise of pretending to educate children on how to safely cross the street, The Tufty Club, it has been reported, instead pushes messages such as anti-hunting, anti-NRA and ant-Republican. By showing furry animals as loveable characters to be looked up to, The Tufty Club has made it impossible for followers of its cult to pick up a rifle and blow their little fluffy heads off – a Trump tweet explained.
The Tufty Club, started by Elsie Mills MBE, is the biggest danger to the United States of America since vegetarianism, screamed Trump in an all caps Tweet.
Trump has declared that all Tufty Club books are to be burned, and any children seen wearing Tufty Club badges will be escorted away for ‘reconditioning’.
The reconditioning is expected to consist of shooting a dozen squirrels in the face with an AR-57.