Tottenham striker, Harry Kane, has officially changed his name via deed poll to Black Lives Matter and has lodged a claim with the Premier League for every goal scored this past weekend to be credited as his.
If his claim is successful, all 22 goals scored over the last few days would be added to Kane’s goal tally for the season, making him a certainty to win the season’s Golden Boot award.
But can it happen?
According to Kane, now Mr Black Lives Matter, because every goal scored was scored by a player featuring the name ‘Black Lives Matter’ on the back of their shirt, they should be attributed to the man who goes by that name.
The scoring charts, currently topped by Jamie Vardy, would then be dominated by
Kane Black Lives Matter. With the Spurs player languishing 8 goals behind Vardy, a 22 goal swing would see Mr Black Lives Matter take a 14 goal lead in the race for the Gold Boot.
Black Lives Matter commented:
Every goal scored was scored by me. You all saw it. My name on the shirt, my goal.
Now second-placed Vardy added.
The prick. Chat shit, get banged.