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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Mumsnet to rebrand as Karensnet

Popular man-bashing website, Mumsnet, is to be rebranded as Karensnet, it has been confirmed. The website, for mums and by mums, has for many years...

Greggs announces sale of first Vegan sausage roll

Popular cholesterol peddler, Greggs, has today announced the very first sale of a Vegan sausage roll. The completely meat-free sausage rolls were first put on...

John Lewis Christmas Ad takes unexpectedly dark turn

This year's Christmas Ad from retailer John Lewis has been slammed after taking a very dark turn in the final scene. The advert features an...

Boris Johnson to return to selling Sugar Puffs

Flop-haired serial shagger, Boris Johnson, is to return to his original career advertising Sugar Puffs on the television. Boris walked out of the job...

I’ve already completed new Man City sponsor Tinder, claims Raheem Sterling

Diminutive money-grabber, Raheem Sterling, claims to have already completed the game Tinder as they were announced as Manchester City’s new shirt sleeve sponsor earlier...

Racist morons shocked chief racist moron banned from Twitter

A cluster of racist idiots have expressed their dismay on the social networking website, Twitter, about the banning of their imperious leader. The decision by...

Brighthouse now accepting human souls as payment

Popular chav store, Brighthouse, has confirmed it is now accepting human souls as payment for products in each of its 270+ shops. The ‘rent to...

‘Sorry About the Smell’ voted NEW Ellesmere Port town slogan

A competition to find a new town slogan for Ellesmere Port has found a popular winner, with the chosen slogan set to be used...

Jayda Fransen to front new Daz: Whiter Than White campaign

Britain First pin-up, Jayda Fransen, has been selected to front a new TV campaign for the washing powder Daz. Fransen, who recently had some tweets...

BMW issues apology after selling car to man who isn’t a twat

German car manufacturer, BMW, has issued a full and unreserved apology after it emerged they sold a car to a man who isn’t a...

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