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Thursday, December 7, 2023
Home Education Brexit Britain to Bring Back Caning in Schools

Brexit Britain to Bring Back Caning in Schools

School children to behave as they used to in Brexit Britain once again


Thanks to Brexit, school children will once again behave as they used to!

New Education Secretary, Nadhim Zahawi, has made his first big promise since taking over from Gavin Williamson in the cabinet reshuffle. Zahawi has promised that, thanks to Brexit, schools will once again be able to use the cane.

Brits have seen some very exciting and welcome returns since Brexit was finally completed, such as the return of the Crown stamp on pint glasses, which will make beer taste like it used to. Now, the new Education Secretary has vowed to Britain that the good old British cane will once again return to our British schools.

The cane was abolished in UK state schools in 1987, a move believed by many Brits to be the start of children and teenagers losing all respect for authority and their parents. Now, without the meddling of the EU, Britain can get back to being great again by caning some respect into its youth.

Mr Zahawi said in a statement:

Thanks to Brexit we can once again make Britain great by beating our children in schools. As Education Secretary I know that what kids need is a good thrashing to teach them some manners.

Andrew Gammon, a Brexit supporter from Ellesmere Port, commented on a local Facebook group after hearing the news:

Brillant!!1! I was canned everyday in skool and it never did me no harm. Tort me to tuffen up and not be a nancy, like the snow flakes today.

Some have speculated what else could return to Britain now that Brexit has happened, and now that Britain once again has the power to make its own rules. Top of the list of Brexit returns people are hoping to see are workhouses, national service, the Blitz, rickets and the black death.


Lover of red wine, real ale, Liverpool FC and most things geeky. Darren has been pottering about on the internet since the late 90s, and helps businesses increase their online presence through his agency Engage Web.


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