Big Sam Allardyce has followed celebrity weirdo Gwynelth Paltrow by releasing a set of candles that whiff of his genitalia.
Actress, author and all-round nut-job Gwyneth Paltrow announced recently she had released a candle that smelled of her nunny. Seeing an obvious gap in the market and, as he’s currently not managing a struggling Premier League club, Big Sam Allardyce has waded into the crotch odour candle market with two offerings of his own.
Big Sam has released ‘Big Sam’s Sweaty Bollocks‘ and ‘Big Sam’s Crusty Knob‘. Fans of manly trouser smells can now enjoy the musk of Big Sam in their own home whenever they light one of his novelty candles.
Big Sam insists the two candles are genuinely infused with the scent of clammy trouser furniture, and lighting the candles will allow his distinctive masculinity to spread throughout your home.
Big Sam commented in a statement:
The wife’s always said my bollocks are a treat for the senses. Now everyone can enjoy them while they relax at home.
Fans of candles that smell like celebrities ugly bits are expected to flock to buy both Paltrow’s fishy wax pot, and Big Sam’s sausage and veg offerings. They are on sale this week, and can be bought at Yankee Candle on Cheshire Oaks.
