Bonkers billionaire Branson Bankrupt after booking a last-minute fair on one of his own trains this week.

Richard Branson made the schoolboy error of buying a ticket at the station for an open return from Manchester to London on Virgin Trains. The billionaire tycoon usually has his train fairs booked for him weeks in advance by one of his many PAs (personal assistants) but, this particular time, he was forced to pay for it himself due to a last-minute meeting in the capital.

The golden-haired giant of business paid for the ticket at the station using is Platinum Virgin debit card, believing he had sufficient funds for the peak-time open return in his business bank account. He had grossly underestimated the cost of an open return ticket.

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Boarding the train at Manchester Piccadilly, Branson was oblivious to the catastrophic chain of events he had set in motion.

By the time Branson’s train had reached Reading, the billionaire was bankrupt and his business empire was in tatters.

The fee for the ticket, which Virgin confirmed was always more expensive if purchased on the day at the station, had set his businesses into meltdown and forced a fire-sale of shares. Virgin Atlantic had to be sold off to Qatar Airways just to pay for the first 30 minutes of the two-hour train ride.

The Bugle asked Virgin Trains how much the peak-time open return from Manchester to London had actually cost, and a spokesman confirmed:

It’s a number so vast you wouldn’t possibly comprehend its magnitude.

Adding:

But still represents excellent value for money.

Branson was last seen wandering around London Paddington shouting at pigeons, exclaiming:

What have I done? I’ve ruined everything.

A spokesman for Virgin Media, another of Branson’s businesses affected by the unexpected loss of funds, commented how it could have been worse.

Luckily Richard only booked a standard ticket. If he’d booked a first-class ticket he may have bankrupted the whole of the UK.