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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

COVID-19 Relieved to test negative for Trump

COVID-19 expressed an extreme sense of relief, this weekend, as a test for Trump proved negative. The virus was concerned it may have contracted Trump...

Scientists: Keith Richards’ DNA key to Coronavirus cure

Leading scientists have confirmed that immortal rocker, Keith Richards, holds the key to a cure for Coronavirus. Keith Richards, whose age is reported at a...

Government advises Brits to use BOTH sides of toilet paper

The UK government has issued an advisory warning to Brits to use both sides of the toilet paper in order to conserve resources. In recent...

Government Coronavirus plan to quarantine Wirral EXPOSED

A secret plan formed by the UK government to contain the coronavirus has been exposed. In the top-secret document, plans are detailed on how...

Greggs announces sale of first Vegan sausage roll

Popular cholesterol peddler, Greggs, has today announced the very first sale of a Vegan sausage roll. The completely meat-free sausage rolls were first put on...

People with “Be Kind” on their profile photo “Absolute Twats” study finds

The current trend of adding "Be Kind" to your profile photo on Facebook has been taken up by the country's biggest pricks, it has...

Piers Morgan looking for new thing at which to direct faux outrage

Celebrity twat, Piers Morgan, was this morning looking for something at which to direct faux outrage. The over-inflated man with the over-inflated ego has previously...

CeXual harassment victim sacked from CeX

Twitter user @gothepleb has detailed an account of where she says she was sexually harassed by a colleague when working for the high street...

‘Is this a library?’ updated post-Brexit to ‘is this a factory?’

The popular sarcastic football chant 'Is this a library?', sung by away fans at football grounds, has been updated following Brexit. The chant is a...

Big Sam follows Paltrow with ‘Sweaty Bollocks’ Candle

Big Sam Allardyce has followed celebrity weirdo Gwynelth Paltrow by releasing a set of candles that whiff of his genitalia. Actress, author and all-round nut-job...

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