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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Jürgen Klopp to single-handedly complete stadium expansion by Sunday

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Liverpool manager, Jürgen Klopp, expects to have the Anfield Road expansion completed by this weekend. Klopp, who attended the ground-breaking ceremony earlier this week, didn't...

Brexit Britain to Bring Back Caning in Schools

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Thanks to Brexit, school children will once again behave as they used to! New Education Secretary, Nadhim Zahawi, has made his first big promise since...

Emma Raducanu credits Piers Morgan for her success

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British tennis sensation, Emma Raducanu, has praised her mentor Piers Morgan and credited him for her latest success. Raducanu, an immigrant to the UK (but...

Mumsnet to rebrand as Karensnet

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Popular man-bashing website, Mumsnet, is to be rebranded as Karensnet, it has been confirmed. The website, for mums and by mums, has for many years...

Chester seeks new name as Manchester drops ‘Man’ to become Chester

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The City of Chester is looking for a new name following the decision by Manchester to drop the masculine 'Man' from its name, becoming...

3-Second Rule Becomes UK Law post Brexit

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The popular '3-second rule', where it is believed that food that has been dropped on the floor is fine to eat so long as...

One more Boris U-Turn could cause Tornado – meteorologists warn

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The speed and regularity with which Prime Minister Boris Johnson performs U-turns is in real danger of causing a category 5 tornado in the...

TARDIS requires extension to fit John Bishop’s teeth

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Following the news that scouse comedian, John Bishop, was joining the ranks of Doctor Who it has been confirmed by the BBC that the...

Rachel Riley Hospitalised Trying To Calculate Vue Cinemas’ Popcorn Profit Margin

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Mathematics bombshell, Rachel Riley, has been admitted to hospital suffering from fatigue after she attempted to calculate the profit margin on popcorn enjoyed by...

“I’m not a bully, you big fat gay spazz!” says Priti Patel

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Home Secretary, Priti Patel, has dismissed claims she's demonstrated bullying traits, by insisting her accuser is just a "big fat gay spazz". In a shocking...

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