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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Council blames Chester wall collapse on dodgy Roman builders

Cheshire West and Chester Council has issued a statement 'condemning the shoddy workmanship' of the Roman builders after a section of the Roman walls...

Vegans SHOCKED to find quinoa is a small furry mammal

The Vegan and Vegetarian world is reeling from the news that quinoa, previously believed to be a pseudo-cereal, is in fact a cute fluffy...

Big Sam follows Paltrow with ‘Sweaty Bollocks’ Candle

Big Sam Allardyce has followed celebrity weirdo Gwynelth Paltrow by releasing a set of candles that whiff of his genitalia. Actress, author and all-round nut-job...

Chester Zoo Successfully Breeds Dinosaurs

A Chester Zoo spokesperson, has confirmed the news the science world has been waiting for decades to hear: Chester Zoo has successfully bred the...

“I Told You I’d F*cking Get Rid Of Her!” – Kate Middleton yells at...

The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, shocked onlookers today with a foul-mouthed outburst directed at Meghan Markle. Middleton, who was in Chester to open new...

Vegan cheese added to Banned Substances List

The World Anti Doping Agency has confirmed that Vegan cheese has been added to its banned substances list. This means no athlete can consume...

Veganuary bollocks prompts man to treble his meat consumption

An Ellesmere Port man is so pissed off with all of the Veganuary crap from hippies and students that he’s taken to eating more...

Fire Brigade called to clear man’s Boxing Day shit

Shaun Swallows, of Girton Road in Ellesmere Port, caused the local fire brigade to be called out after his Boxing Day shit proved so...

Wife slips into coma after husband’s Christmas fart

A woman has fallen into a coma following a particularly nasty fart released by her husband, this Christmas. The woman, 56-year-old Emily from Great...

HR explains error of man’s Secret Santa vibrator gift

A Chester man has been hauled in front of his firm’s HR department after purchasing a vibrator as a Secret Santa gift for a...

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