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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Work-from-home-burglar robbed own house 3 times last week

With the whole of the UK on a form of lockdown, even burglars are now managing to work from home, it would appear. Twenty-six-year-old Rob...

Kids and Gays locked in BITTER tussle over Rainbow ownership

The UK's children have staged a coup against the gays to take back control of the rainbow symbol, it has been confirmed. The rainbow has...

Number of alcoholics in UK expected to double, to EVERYONE

The nation being forced to stay at home over the next few weeks due to Coronavirus has led analysts to predict the UK's number...

COVID-19 Relieved to test negative for Trump

COVID-19 expressed an extreme sense of relief, this weekend, as a test for Trump proved negative. The virus was concerned it may have contracted Trump...

Scientists: Keith Richards’ DNA key to Coronavirus cure

Leading scientists have confirmed that immortal rocker, Keith Richards, holds the key to a cure for Coronavirus. Keith Richards, whose age is reported at a...

Government advises Brits to use BOTH sides of toilet paper

The UK government has issued an advisory warning to Brits to use both sides of the toilet paper in order to conserve resources. In recent...

Surviving coronavirus: How to know when it’s time to eat grandma

With many families in the UK currently self-isolating, one question remains at the forefront of everyone's thoughts: how do you know when the time...

Entire class disappears after dressing as “Where’s Wally” for World Book Day

The entire Year 3 from St. Savile's Primary School, in Ellesmere Port, has completely vanished after they all dressed as 'Wally' from the 'Where's...

Greggs announces sale of first Vegan sausage roll

Popular cholesterol peddler, Greggs, has today announced the very first sale of a Vegan sausage roll. The completely meat-free sausage rolls were first put on...

People with “Be Kind” on their profile photo “Absolute Twats” study finds

The current trend of adding "Be Kind" to your profile photo on Facebook has been taken up by the country's biggest pricks, it has...

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