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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

All You Can Eat Restaurant’s salad cart remains untouched for 9th straight year

The salad cart at an all-you-can-eat restaurant, in Chester, has never been so much as touched since the restaurant opened, nine years ago. The restaurant...

Boris to AXE Child Support Agency as it’s costing him a f*cking wad

In a bold move, Boris Johnson has announced he is axing the Child Support Agency, effective immediately, due it the amount of money the...

New MARVEL Superhero ‘No Sweat Man’ announced

MARVEL, the studio behind Spider-Man, The Hulk and Captain America, today announced a new superhero would be joining the ranks of The Avengers. The...

Man claiming he’s ‘wrapping presents’ really just having a massive wank

An Ellesmere Port man who told his wife 'not to come in' as he's wrapping her Christmas presents has, instead, just been masturbating for...

Cambridge Road speed limit reduced to Warp 6

The speed limit on Cambridge Road, Ellesmere Port, will soon been reduced to Warp 6, it has been confirmed. The new speed represents a...

I’m a Celebrity swapping Bush Tucker Trial for Wetherspoons’ Lunch Menu

Popular z-list career revival show, I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, is swapping its famous Bush Tucker Trial for the more unpalatable...

Police release image of man sought over ‘incident’ in Whitby Park

CHESHIRE Police has released an image from CCTV showing a man they're interested in speaking with over an incident in Whitby Park this weekend. The...

The Station Hotel wins ‘Best Kept Pub’ in Ellesmere Port

The Station Hotel has won the coveted title of 'Best Kept Pub' in Ellesmere Port. In a hotly contested competition, the historical Station Hotel (situated...

Scientists discover new lifeform in Wetherspoon’s carpet

A team of scientists, from the University of Wyoming, has made a scientific breakthrough in Chester, of all places. The award-winning team has been...

Couple only staying together because they both like getting pissed

Chester couple, Tom and Debbie Shanks, have admitted they’re only staying together because of their mutual love of getting absolutely shitfaced. The couple have been...

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