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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Fake crowd sounds at Chelsea games to include racist chanting

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A Premier League spokesperson has confirmed that all of Chelsea FC's remaining home games to be broadcast live will include racist chanting with the...

Trump Declares ‘The Tufty Club’ a terrorist organisation

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Tangerine-coloured president, Donald Trump, this morning declared the radical furry outfit known as 'The Tufty Club' a 'terrorist organisation'. The Tufty Club has operated beneath...

Boris Johnson has baby he knows about

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UK Prime Minister, Boris 'Shagger' Johnson has today confirmed the birth of a baby he knows about. While becoming a father isn't a new experience...

COVID-19 Relieved to test negative for Trump

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COVID-19 expressed an extreme sense of relief, this weekend, as a test for Trump proved negative. The virus was concerned it may have contracted Trump...

Government advises Brits to use BOTH sides of toilet paper

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The UK government has issued an advisory warning to Brits to use both sides of the toilet paper in order to conserve resources. In recent...

Government Coronavirus plan to quarantine Wirral EXPOSED

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A secret plan formed by the UK government to contain the coronavirus has been exposed. In the top-secret document, plans are detailed on how...

Piers Morgan looking for new thing at which to direct faux outrage

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Celebrity twat, Piers Morgan, was this morning looking for something at which to direct faux outrage. The over-inflated man with the over-inflated ego has previously...

‘Is this a library?’ updated post-Brexit to ‘is this a factory?’

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The popular sarcastic football chant 'Is this a library?', sung by away fans at football grounds, has been updated following Brexit. The chant is a...

Boris to AXE Child Support Agency as it’s costing him a f*cking wad

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In a bold move, Boris Johnson has announced he is axing the Child Support Agency, effective immediately, due it the amount of money the...

Thousands hospitalised playing “Drink When Boris Lies” drinking game

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Thousands of British have been admitted to hospital with alcohol poisoning after playing a popular drinking game about Boris Johnson. The game, entitled 'Drink...

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