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Thursday, December 12, 2019

New Face of Bank of England £50 Note is Revealed

Sam Allardyce, the only England football manager with a 100% win record, has today been announced as the new face of the Bank of...

Ellesmere Port rejoices as ‘scratchies’ to become Olympic sport

Ellesmere Port was, this morning, rejoicing at the news scratch cards (or 'scratchies) would be an event at the next Olympics. During many Olympic Games...

Everton fan regrets nipping out for some milk

Everton fan, Tom, spoke yesterday of how he severely regretting nipping out for some milk on Sunday. After waking in the afternoon Tom (who asked...

Despite recent human rights issues and history of racism, Chelsea fans welcome in Baku

London clubs Chelsea and Arsenal travel over 2,800 miles for the Europa League Final this week, with a small number of fans also going...

Phil Jones appointed new Secretary of State for Defence

Manchester United ace, Phil Jones, has been appointed by PM Theresa May as the new Secretary of State for Defence for the United Kingdom. The...

Country with no players but billions of dollars mysteriously wins Asian Cup

Qatar, a country with no footballers of note and no history in football, has mysteriously won the Asian Cup Final, defeating four-time...

Arsenal defeat unites nation in mockery of Piers Morgan

Arsenal's latest humiliating defeat has brought the country together in its dislike of famed moron, Piers Morgan. The defeat...

Freedome now FREE after successful false advertising claim

ADHD creche, the Freedome in Ellesmere Port, has been forced to stop charging customers after a successful challenge over its name. Single mother, and junior...

Doctors warn of UK coma epidemic as Michael Owen set to commentate on Man...

Leading British doctors have predicted a rise in comas across the UK this weekend. The epitome of dull, monotone Michael Owen, has been chosen...

Man with ZERO interest in football hopes tonight he can stop pretending

A CHESTER man, who describes himself as ‘bohemian’, has been feigning an interest in football for the past four weeks and tonight hopes he...

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