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Thursday, January 23, 2020

Wrexham to force all away fans to speak Welsh

Chester FC's bitter rival, Wrexham A.F.C has confirmed that any away fans visiting the Racecourse Ground for football matches will be required to conduct...

Big Sam follows Paltrow with ‘Sweaty Bollocks’ Candle

Big Sam Allardyce has followed celebrity weirdo Gwynelth Paltrow by releasing a set of candles that whiff of his genitalia. Actress, author and all-round nut-job...

Liverpool’s Fourth Round FA Cup tie to be televised on CBEEBIES

It has been announced that the Fourth Round FA Cup match between Liverpool and the winner of Bristol City or Shrewsbury will be televised...

Vegan cheese added to Banned Substances List

The World Anti Doping Agency has confirmed that Vegan cheese has been added to its banned substances list. This means no athlete can consume...

New Face of Bank of England £50 Note is Revealed

Sam Allardyce, the only England football manager with a 100% win record, has today been announced as the new face of the Bank of...

Ellesmere Port rejoices as ‘scratchies’ to become Olympic sport

Ellesmere Port was, this morning, rejoicing at the news scratch cards (or 'scratchies) would be an event at the next Olympics. During many Olympic Games...

Everton fan regrets nipping out for some milk

Everton fan, Tom, spoke yesterday of how he severely regretting nipping out for some milk on Sunday. After waking in the afternoon Tom (who asked...

Despite recent human rights issues and history of racism, Chelsea fans welcome in Baku

London clubs Chelsea and Arsenal travel over 2,800 miles for the Europa League Final this week, with a small number of fans also going...

Phil Jones appointed new Secretary of State for Defence

Manchester United ace, Phil Jones, has been appointed by PM Theresa May as the new Secretary of State for Defence for the United Kingdom. The...

Country with no players but billions of dollars mysteriously wins Asian Cup

Qatar, a country with no footballers of note and no history in football, has mysteriously won the Asian Cup Final, defeating four-time...

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