The speed limit on Cambridge Road, Ellesmere Port, will soon been reduced to Warp 6, it has been confirmed. The new speed represents a significant reduction from the previous maximum speed Warp 9.975.

Residents of Cambridge Road have, for some years, raised concerns over the speed vehicles travel down the road with many cars, particularly BMWs and Audis, travelling at Warp 9 as the drivers attempt to show off their ‘mad driving skillz’ to nobody who actually cares.

A recent effort to reduce the speed on Cambridge Road to 20mph, or Impulse speed, was met with contempt from drivers, who have continued to traverse the back passage of Ellesmere Port at speeds of their choosing.

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Residents can now rest a little easier knowing that speeds on Cambridge Road will soon be reduced to a more manageable Warp 6, which is the equivalent of approximately 5,000km per second.

Mr Z. Cochrane, from Little Sutton, has recently upgraded his Vauxhall Corsa to go beyond the threshold of Warp 10. He believes that Warp 6 on Cambridge Road is an unnecessary restriction:

It’s like a nanny state. If I want to take my car to maximum Warp down Cambridge Road I will.

Some environmentalist groups in Ellesmere Port have complained that the force of nature that is Warp speed is harming the environment in the town. This has been dismissed by motorists as a load of old ‘rabal’ – whatever that means.