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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

YODEL and CSA combine to create one big clusterfuck

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Lovers of absolute chaos and dimwittery are rejoicing today as the Child Support Agency announced a partnership deal with parcel destroyer YODEL. YODEL is consistently...

Entire class disappears after dressing as “Where’s Wally” for World Book Day

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The entire Year 3 from St. Savile's Primary School, in Ellesmere Port, has completely vanished after they all dressed as 'Wally' from the 'Where's...

Freedome now FREE after successful false advertising claim

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ADHD creche, the Freedome in Ellesmere Port, has been forced to stop charging customers after a successful challenge over its name. Single mother, and junior...

Local man ‘Completely Misunderstood’ “Clap for Carers”

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Ellesmere Port local, Steve Baston, this week discovered he had completely misunderstood the meaning of 'Clap for Carers' after a very embarrassing visit to...

CSA employee commended for causing most father suicides

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A Child Support Agency employee, from Birkenhead, has received the organisation’s top award for causing the most deaths among fathers. Jenifer Bradbury, 26, was...

Two-drink minimum imposed to see the Coca Cola truck

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Soft-drink giant Coca-Cola has bowed to popular demand and added an extra Cheshire Oaks date to its tour, but has also imposed a two-drink...

Man convinced Petrol-Station Flowers will lead to Sex

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An Ellesmere Port man is absolutely certain a bunch of flowers from Sainsbury's petrol station will be enough to charm his girlfriend into a...

4×4 drivers especially smug this morning

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Some light snowfall in certain areas of the UK, including Ellesmere Port and Chester, has resulted in increased smugness levels from 4x4 drivers. The smugness...

Man shot 6 times by police for celebrating St George’s Day in Ellesmere Port

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An Ellesmere Port man was, this morning, shot and killed by police for celebrating St George's Day. The man, 27-year-old Tom Bates, from Girton...

Prince Harry’s stag do to start in Ellesmere Port’s oldest surviving pub

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The Horse & Jockey, the oldest surviving pub in Ellesmere Port, is to be the stage for the start of Prince Henry of Wales’...

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