Scientists: Keith Richards’ DNA key to Coronavirus cure
Leading scientists have confirmed that immortal rocker, Keith Richards, holds the key to a cure for Coronavirus.
Keith Richards, whose age is reported at a...
Tourette’s revealed as hoax by people who like swearing
Popular comedic disorder, Tourette’s, which sees people swear their tits off at inappropriate moments, has been revealed as a hoax, it has been confirmed.
The...
Man claiming he’s ‘wrapping presents’ really just having a massive wank
An Ellesmere Port man who told his wife 'not to come in' as he's wrapping her Christmas presents has, instead, just been masturbating for...
YODEL and CSA combine to create one big clusterfuck
Lovers of absolute chaos and dimwittery are rejoicing today as the Child Support Agency announced a partnership deal with parcel destroyer YODEL.
YODEL is consistently...
Ellesmere Port terrorised by big metal sky dragon
Ellesmere Port residents live in the grip of fear of a great mechanical beast that flies through the night skies, spreading terror to the...
Greggs announces sale of first Vegan sausage roll
Popular cholesterol peddler, Greggs, has today announced the very first sale of a Vegan sausage roll.
The completely meat-free sausage rolls were first put on...
Tattoo Fixer Jay Hutton offers free tattoos for anyone who tweets the photo
Star of Tattoo Fixers, Jay Hutton, has announced he’s offering free tattoos for anyone who is willing to share photographs of the tattoo on...
Government advises Brits to use BOTH sides of toilet paper
The UK government has issued an advisory warning to Brits to use both sides of the toilet paper in order to conserve resources.
In recent...
Ellesmere Port café wins Halloween decoration contest despite not putting up decorations
A local café, in the Port Arcades, has won a nationwide Halloween decoration contest without entering, or putting up a single Halloween decoration.
The café,...
Woman’s yeast infection disproves ‘What happens in Vegas’ theory
Twenty-two-year-old Debbie, from Ellesmere Port, has contracted a terrible YEAST INFECTION on a recent trip to Las Vegas with the girlies.
Debbie travelled out to...
