Greggs announces sale of first Vegan sausage roll
Popular cholesterol peddler, Greggs, has today announced the very first sale of a Vegan sausage roll.
The completely meat-free sausage rolls were first put on...
Ellesmere Port votes ‘NO’ on incest ban
A proposed ban on inbreeding in Ellesmere Port, the last UK town where the practice is permitted, has been heavily defeated in this weekend’s...
Confusing Drink Drive limit replaced with ‘Five and Drive’ rule
The amount of alcohol you can safely drink before driving is to be made simpler under new legislation. The ‘Five and Drive’ rule will...
Man shot 6 times by police for celebrating St George’s Day in Ellesmere Port
An Ellesmere Port man was, this morning, shot and killed by police for celebrating St George's Day. The man, 27-year-old Tom Bates, from Girton...
Woman finds store opening time WITHOUT asking Facebook
An ELLESMERE PORT woman has discovered the opening time of a local shop she wanted to visit without asking on Facebook.
The woman, 32-year-old Lisa...
Car 300,000 miles from earth has Audi ‘up its arse flashing its lights’
A car owned by suspected Bond villain Elon Musk has been launched into space in order to orbit Mars. However, the car has already...
Diners delighted to see children’s party enter restaurant
Restaurant goers in a local branch of Prezzo were delighted, this weekend, when a children’s seventh birthday party was booked at the same time.
Before...
New MARVEL Superhero ‘No Sweat Man’ announced
MARVEL, the studio behind Spider-Man, The Hulk and Captain America, today announced a new superhero would be joining the ranks of The Avengers. The...
Coinstar CEO laughing tits off at poor who give him money
The CEO of Coinstar, Erik E. Prusch, has been laughing his absolute tits off at all of the poor people who chuck their money...
Americans insist light beer isn’t shit
Americans, this week, insisted that light beers such as ‘Bud Light’ and ‘Coors Light’ aren’t shit.
While the rest of the world, the UK in...
