Christmas is shit when you’re an adult – discovers 18-year-old
18-year-old Mark Jacobs, from Little Sutton, has discovered this morning that Christmas is really shit when you’re an adult.
Mark turned 18 in October and,...
Man unexpectedly receives lecture on how ‘meat is murder’ after ordering Vegan waffle
An Ellesmere Port man was subjected to a three-hour lecture on how meat is murder after asking for ‘Vegan waffle’ in a local independent...
Scientists discover new lifeform in Wetherspoon’s carpet
A team of scientists, from the University of Wyoming, has made a scientific breakthrough in Chester, of all places. The award-winning team has been...
Facebook Avatars more contagious than COVID-19 – confirm experts
A second, more contagious, wave of infection has spread around the world in the last few days, it has been confirmed. While the world...
Man with tape to replace traffic lights in Ellesmere Port
After an initial trial this weekend at Cheshire Oaks, all traffic lights in Ellesmere Port will be replaced by men holding a bit of...
Blacks to use back 6 rows confirms Ryanair
Budget airline Ryanair has confirmed plans to dispel the current belief that it tolerates racism aboard its aircraft. The plans, outlined this morning, include...
Facebook Likes marginally better than prayers, confirms Pope
Pope Francis has today confirmed that Facebook 'likes' are marginally better than prayers when it comes to offering them in support of a worthwhile...
“I Told You I’d F*cking Get Rid Of Her!” – Kate Middleton yells at...
The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, shocked onlookers today with a foul-mouthed outburst directed at Meghan Markle.
Middleton, who was in Chester to open new...
Beluga XL not big enough for your Ma
The Beluga XL has arrived in Hawarden, after flying over Chester and Ellesmere Port, to pick up your Ma. Unfortunately, despite its enormous size...
500 DEAD as Stanlow fire sparks Ellesmere Port Purge
A raging fire at the Stanlow Oil Refinery yesterday sparked Ellesmere Port’s first annual PURGE, which saw over 500 people killed during the evening’s...
