A second, more contagious, wave of infection has spread around the world in the last few days, it has been confirmed. While the world still reels from Covid-19, with many families in isolation and unable to leave the home, a more dangerous infection is spreading without mercy.
This new virus infects people’s Facebook timelines with mind-numbingly dull cartoon personas of people in a sad attempt to give them some sort of personality. The infection, known to scientists as ‘Facebook Avatarius-3’, is a more aggressive strain of the awful Facebook avatar infection that spread throughout the world a few years ago. While the previous infection died out almost as quickly as it arrived, after people who use the avatars realised they were shit, this new strain shows no signs of slowing down.
Dull people everywhere are being infected and are sharing their bland images of themselves, all in the same woefully unimaginative pose, at an alarming rate.
The worst part about this new avatar infection is that it is not slowed down by wearing PPE, nor by remaining in isolation. Where COVID-19 requires human contact in order for it to pass between hosts, Facebook Avatarius-3 is airborne and passes through stupid.
Professor Sniffscrotch, from the Smithsonian in Washington DC, commented:
This strain of avatar seems to target only the most vulnerable people online, the ones who would share photos of a lost kitten from 4,000 miles away and comment ‘WIN’ on a Range Rover scam.
If you know someone who has demonstrated symptoms of sharing Facebook Avatar images, you are advised to seek treatment for them immediately. The first step is to slap them in the face, hard, followed by removing all access to the internet. Only by stopping them being bland online will you help curb the spread of this awful infection.
A new slogan has been released to help combat this awful infection.
Stay alert. Slap their Face. Stop their Internet.