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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

British ‘Hansel and Gretel’ leave predatory witch homeless

An evil witch has been left homeless after a brother and sister, from Ellesmere Port, scoffed her entire house. The witch, 376-year-old Agnes, had lived...

40-year-old toy collector definitely NOT a sociopath

A man in his early forties has revealed he is absolutely not a sociopath, despite his preference for small plastic robots over people. The man,...

Costa Coffee to open further 23 branches in Ellesmere Port

The growing coffee brand plans to expand its current range of seven locations within Ellesmere Port to 23 by the end of 2018, it...

Big Sam follows Paltrow with ‘Sweaty Bollocks’ Candle

Big Sam Allardyce has followed celebrity weirdo Gwynelth Paltrow by releasing a set of candles that whiff of his genitalia. Actress, author and all-round nut-job...

Gammons enraged nobody wants to own f*cking up the UK

The nation’s gammons are said to be furious that nobody wants to take ownership for utterly f*cking up the country. Today saw Dominic Raab, the...

HR explains error of man’s Secret Santa vibrator gift

A Chester man has been hauled in front of his firm’s HR department after purchasing a vibrator as a Secret Santa gift for a...

Geordie buys long-sleeved T-Shirt for Chicago trip

A 19-year-old Geordie lad, named Jon, has purchased a long-sleeved Tee for his trip to Chicago after learning of the extra-cold weather they're experiencing...

Man lists ‘taking a shit’ among his favourite pastimes

In a recent conversation with friends Ellesmere Port man, John Chubs, has listed having a good shit as one of his favourite hobbies. The discussion...

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