Grapes reclassified as ‘wine foetuses’ by alcohol rights campaigners
A bold campaign by alcohol rights groups is expected to be successful in labelling grapes as wine foetuses, giving grapes the same rights as...
Shitting in a cupboard voted best thing about caravan holidays
In a recent survey of caravaners from The Caravan Club, taking a shit in a cupboard came top of the most enjoyed things about...
2,500 people inadvertently sign petition BACKING Gypsy and Traveller site in Ellesmere Port
A double-negative has meant that over 2,500 people have signed an online petition BACKING the creation of a proposed transit site in Ellesmere Port...
Man with ZERO interest in football hopes tonight he can stop pretending
A CHESTER man, who describes himself as ‘bohemian’, has been feigning an interest in football for the past four weeks and tonight hopes he...
Tories launch Twat replacement service
As the Tories lose yet another twat, Therese May has followed the nation’s woeful train operators in launching a ‘twat replacement service’.
Train operators, such...
Fat kids turn to cannibalism as McDonalds closes for three months
As the shocking news emerged today that Cheshire Oaks McDonalds is closing for three months, Ellesmere Port’s fat kids have already started eating each...
Queen wins Chester’s inaugural gurning competition
Her Majesty the Queen arrived in Chester this afternoon to enter the town’s inaugural gurning competition, where people attempt to make the most unpleasant...
FIFA awards 2026 World Cup to highest briber
A huge suitcase stuffed with cash was said to be the deciding factor on choosing the destination of the 2026 World Cup.
FIFA today revealed...
Couple insists hot tub isn’t a sex stew
A CHESTER couple has recently claimed their new hot tub isn’t a sex stew, contrary to the opinions of their friends and public perception.
The...
Dolphin gets tattoo of human on its arse
Blue Planet Aquarium, in Ellesmere Port, announced this morning that one of its dolphins had acquired a tattoo. The dolphin, named Jackson, has a...
