A CHESTER couple has recently claimed their new hot tub isn’t a sex stew, contrary to the opinions of their friends and public perception.

The couple, twenty-two-year-old Danielle and twenty-six-year-old Carl, from Blacon, bought the hot tub after a recent scratch card win. They claim the hot tub is for ‘relaxing’ and ‘destressing’ and not, as friends believe, for Carl to smash in Danielle’s cervix.

Danielle is a student at the University of Chester, studying Child Care, while Carl is currently looking for new opportunities. Carl bought the scratch card, or ‘scratchie’ as he calls it, while popping into Bargain Booze for some smokes, cider and something for weekend.


He was over the moon when he won two thousand pounds.

He commented:

Mental. Can’t believe it. We needed that money for rent, so it was well lucky.

Of course, Carl didn’t spend the money on the £1,500 back rent they already owe. He blew the lot on a new hot tub, which currently sits in the second bedroom of their two-bed house in Blacon.

Danielle was well chuffed when she got home and saw it. We jumped right in and christened the crap out of it.

However, the hot tub hasn’t proven as popular with Danielle’s friends. Her fellow student, Lucy-Jo, had this to say:

It’s filthy. All they do is f*ck in it. You could stand a spoon up in that water.

Carl’s mate Dave, who drinks in The Wagon and Horses, was more upbeat about the hot tub. He commented:

The jammy bastard.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.