Confusing Drink Drive limit replaced with ‘Five and Drive’ rule
The amount of alcohol you can safely drink before driving is to be made simpler under new legislation. The ‘Five and Drive’ rule will...
Rick Astley gives you up following stint in rehab
Quiffed 80’s icon Rick Astley has finally kicked his reliance on you after spending three weeks in rehab.
The Lancastrian entertainer famously insisted he was...
Baggage handlers targeted on breakages – confirms Manchester Airport
A spokesperson for Manchester Airport has confirmed what passengers had believed for many years: their baggage handlers are actually targeted on breakages.
If you’ve ever...
Not a single problem that couldn’t be solved with more guns – claims Trump
Orange buffoon, Donald Trump, declared there isn’t a single problem in the world that couldn’t be solved by adding more guns to the mix.
Speaking...
José Mourinho advising government on quick European exit
With Brexit talks reaching a critical point this week, the government has turned to an expert on exiting Europe. Manchester United manager José Mourinho...
The Voice exposed as FBI Witness Protection Program
The FBI, in the USA, has been exposed as having created the TV ‘talent’ show ‘The Voice’ as a witness protection program so that...
Gran misses sitter
During last night’s football match on BT Sport, Chester-born Michael Owen was shocked to find a gran missed a sitter.
The insomnia-curing commentator is used...
“I Told You I’d F*cking Get Rid Of Her!” – Kate Middleton yells at...
The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, shocked onlookers today with a foul-mouthed outburst directed at Meghan Markle.
Middleton, who was in Chester to open new...
British ‘Hansel and Gretel’ leave predatory witch homeless
An evil witch has been left homeless after a brother and sister, from Ellesmere Port, scoffed her entire house.
The witch, 376-year-old Agnes, had lived...
Chester student planning to work entire hour this term
A University of Chester student has announced plans to put in a full hour’s work this term, it has been revealed. The hour of...
