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Saturday, January 16, 2021

Lifestyle

From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Man convinced Petrol-Station Flowers will lead to Sex

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An Ellesmere Port man is absolutely certain a bunch of flowers from Sainsbury's petrol station will be enough to charm his girlfriend into a...

Coronation Street to be released on 2,000-disc DVD Boxset

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The entire series of Coronation Street is to be released on a 2,000 disc DVD boxset, it was revealed this morning. Fans of the...

Council blames Chester wall collapse on dodgy Roman builders

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Cheshire West and Chester Council has issued a statement 'condemning the shoddy workmanship' of the Roman builders after a section of the Roman walls...

Vegans SHOCKED to find quinoa is a small furry mammal

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The Vegan and Vegetarian world is reeling from the news that quinoa, previously believed to be a pseudo-cereal, is in fact a cute fluffy...

Big Sam follows Paltrow with ‘Sweaty Bollocks’ Candle

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Big Sam Allardyce has followed celebrity weirdo Gwynelth Paltrow by releasing a set of candles that whiff of his genitalia. Actress, author and all-round nut-job...

Chester Zoo Successfully Breeds Dinosaurs

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A Chester Zoo spokesperson, has confirmed the news the science world has been waiting for decades to hear: Chester Zoo has successfully bred the...

“I Told You I’d F*cking Get Rid Of Her!” – Kate Middleton yells at...

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The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, shocked onlookers today with a foul-mouthed outburst directed at Meghan Markle. Middleton, who was in Chester to open new...

Vegan cheese added to Banned Substances List

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The World Anti Doping Agency has confirmed that Vegan cheese has been added to its banned substances list. This means no athlete can consume...

Veganuary bollocks prompts man to treble his meat consumption

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An Ellesmere Port man is so pissed off with all of the Veganuary crap from hippies and students that he’s taken to eating more...

Fire Brigade called to clear man’s Boxing Day shit

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Shaun Swallows, of Girton Road in Ellesmere Port, caused the local fire brigade to be called out after his Boxing Day shit proved so...

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