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Monday, June 1, 2020

Lifestyle

From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Entire class disappears after dressing as “Where’s Wally” for World Book Day

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The entire Year 3 from St. Savile's Primary School, in Ellesmere Port, has completely vanished after they all dressed as 'Wally' from the 'Where's...

Greggs announces sale of first Vegan sausage roll

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Popular cholesterol peddler, Greggs, has today announced the very first sale of a Vegan sausage roll. The completely meat-free sausage rolls were first put on...

People with “Be Kind” on their profile photo “Absolute Twats” study finds

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The current trend of adding "Be Kind" to your profile photo on Facebook has been taken up by the country's biggest pricks, it has...

Man convinced Petrol-Station Flowers will lead to Sex

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An Ellesmere Port man is absolutely certain a bunch of flowers from Sainsbury's petrol station will be enough to charm his girlfriend into a...

Coronation Street to be released on 2,000-disc DVD Boxset

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The entire series of Coronation Street is to be released on a 2,000 disc DVD boxset, it was revealed this morning. Fans of the...

Council blames Chester wall collapse on dodgy Roman builders

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Cheshire West and Chester Council has issued a statement 'condemning the shoddy workmanship' of the Roman builders after a section of the Roman walls...

Vegans SHOCKED to find quinoa is a small furry mammal

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The Vegan and Vegetarian world is reeling from the news that quinoa, previously believed to be a pseudo-cereal, is in fact a cute fluffy...

Big Sam follows Paltrow with ‘Sweaty Bollocks’ Candle

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Big Sam Allardyce has followed celebrity weirdo Gwynelth Paltrow by releasing a set of candles that whiff of his genitalia. Actress, author and all-round nut-job...

Chester Zoo Successfully Breeds Dinosaurs

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A Chester Zoo spokesperson, has confirmed the news the science world has been waiting for decades to hear: Chester Zoo has successfully bred the...

“I Told You I’d F*cking Get Rid Of Her!” – Kate Middleton yells at...

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The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, shocked onlookers today with a foul-mouthed outburst directed at Meghan Markle. Middleton, who was in Chester to open new...

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