Ellesmere Port local, Steve Baston, this week discovered he had completely misunderstood the meaning of ‘Clap for Carers’ after a very embarrassing visit to Hope Farm Clinic, in Great Sutton.
Steve proudly marched down to the clinic this week believing he was doing his bit for the nation’s carers and front line workers after seeing the ‘Clap for Carers’ campaign mentioned online.
However, rather than standing and applauding on his doorstep with the rest of the country, Steve had contracted The Clap off local prossy Jenny Swallows and believed that’s what the carers were looking for, for some reason.
After strutting into the clinic yesterday afternoon, and boastfully declaring he’d ‘done his bit’ for the NHS, it was explained to Steve that what the UK’s carers really wanted was a unified show of support from the citizens of the UK, not for a dozey twat from Ellesmere Port to get the clap by shagging a prossy.
Speaking to the Bugle, Steve explained his actions:
I thought they wanted people with The Clap to donate blood or something. Maybe they’re making some sort of vaccine.
When questioned about his obvious lack of social distancing while contracting the STI from Ellesmere Port’s most ridden bicycle, Steve added:
I can stay two metres away from a bird and still smash it!