Leading scientists have confirmed that immortal rocker, Keith Richards, holds the key to a cure for Coronavirus.

Keith Richards, whose age is reported at a modest 73 but historians believe he may be several times older than that, is one of the founding members of the Rolling Stones. Despite decades, or perhaps centuries, of absorbing every chemical known to man he is still in perfect health when all of his contemporaries have long since met their demise.

As a result, it is believed his unique DNA holds the key to finding a cure for Coronavirus COVID-19.


Leading scientist, Professor Egbert Head, PHD, commented:

Keith should be dead. His DNA has survived every possible infection, viral attack and chemical known to science, and some unknown. He is, quite simply, invincible.

Mr Richards donated samples of his DNA earlier this week, and scientists believe they will be in a position to start issuing both cures and vaccinations within a few weeks. Professor Head added:

Initial tests have gone well. We subjected the virus to Keith’s DNA and the virus was completely assimilated. We believe we have found a cure.

This represents excellent news for the UK and the world as a whole. Scientists hope Keith’s DNA can be used to cure other diseases in future, such as stupidity and gullibility.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.