McDonald’s to trial vending machines in Ellesmere Port
Peddler of high calorie children’s’ meals, McDonald’s, is to trial new vending machines in Ellesmere Port due to the uproar caused by the recent...
Fat kids turn to cannibalism as McDonalds closes for three months
As the shocking news emerged today that Cheshire Oaks McDonalds is closing for three months, Ellesmere Port’s fat kids have already started eating each...
Ellesmere Port Asda first to hire FAT PEOPLE as human bicycle racks
Chubby trouser tamers can now earn some extra pasty money by acting as bicycle racks outside Asda in Ellesmere Port.
The move was announced this...
Coinstar CEO laughing tits off at poor who give him money
The CEO of Coinstar, Erik E. Prusch, has been laughing his absolute tits off at all of the poor people who chuck their money...
Costa to open new Costa inside a Costa
Costa Coffee announced this week it was planning to open a new branch of Costa inside an existing Costa.
We recently reported how the coffee...
Man blissfully unaware facing direction he’s walking results in fewer collisions
An Ellesmere Port man recently bumped into no fewer than SEVENTEEN different people while walking around Cheshire Oaks. Each time he bumped into someone...
Brighthouse now accepting human souls as payment
Popular chav store, Brighthouse, has confirmed it is now accepting human souls as payment for products in each of its 270+ shops.
The ‘rent to...
Geoffrey found HANGED in Chester branch of Toys R Us
The Toys R Us giraffe, known as Geoffrey, was discovered this morning hanged in the Chester branch of the store. Police do not suspect...
Ellesmere Port residents to be hit by proposed new Trolley Tax
Residents of ELLESMERE PORT are expected to be some of the worst affected in the UK if the Tories' new proposed ‘Trolley Tax’ is...
Weetbix launches Weetabrexit breakfast cereal
Breakfast cereal Weetabix is getting behind the anti-EU vibe that’s sweeping the UK by launching a special ‘Brexit’ version of its cereal, named Weetabrexit.
The...
