The CEO of Coinstar, Erik E. Prusch, has been laughing his absolute tits off at all of the poor people who chuck their money into his machines in exchange for vouchers worth a little less money than the coins they’ve just deposited.

He can’t believe how stupid they all are, and he’s absolutely loving it, it has been revealed.

The Coinstar machines, for those who haven’t seen them, are large machines seen in the entrances of lower-rent supermarkets here in the UK. There are actually two located inside the Asda in Ellesmere Port, as demand was so high the company was forced to install a second machine. Chavs were fighting over use of the first machine, desperate to throw their money into it and receive a little less out of it.

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So how do the machines work? Poor people tip their coins into the Coinstar and receive vouchers, minus a healthy commission for the Coinstar’s owners, that they can use inside the store. Why the poor don’t use their coins instead, and receive goods to the value of ALL of their money, is why they’re poor in the first place.

The idea of the Coinstar seems strange. If you were to go to a shop and pick up £50 worth of items and take them to the till, only to be told “that’s an extra 10% for us, is that OK” you would say ‘no way’! Yet, because the poor are given a big blue machine, a big green button and the chance to pour their coins into a tray it’s somehow acceptable.

The Coinstar machines were first created in the early 90s by Dan Gerrity and Jens Molbak, but their transition from idea to reality was not a smooth one. Mr Gerrity explained, in a recent interview, how he found it very difficult to get backing for the idea because no investors believed anyone would be stupid enough to pour their money into his machines and receive less money out of them.

He commented:

When I first came up with the idea I was laughed at. They said I was an idiot, and that nobody would be so obscenely stupid as to use one of my machines.

He went on:

Who’s laughing now eh? The world is full of complete morons who are happy to give away some of their money for a service they can get for free in the bank. The real comedy is they could just as easily pour their coins into the self-service tills and use 100% of their cash.

Financial experts believe the machines are indicative of the lack of financial education here in the UK. With so many families living in poverty, how the poor can justify giving away 10% of their money to a laughing fat-cat CEO is beyond fathomable.

Financial experts recommend, instead of pouring your money into a Coinstar and throwing away 10%, that you take your money to the bank where you can deposit it and keep 100% of your money.

For those who are scared of banks, you can also use your coins to buy things in shops, rather than exchange them for vouchers worth only 90% of the value of your money.