Greggs announces sale of first Vegan sausage roll
Popular cholesterol peddler, Greggs, has today announced the very first sale of a Vegan sausage roll.
The completely meat-free sausage rolls were first put on...
Woman finds store opening time WITHOUT asking Facebook
An ELLESMERE PORT woman has discovered the opening time of a local shop she wanted to visit without asking on Facebook.
The woman, 32-year-old Lisa...
Boris Johnson to return to selling Sugar Puffs
Flop-haired serial shagger, Boris Johnson, is to return to his original career advertising Sugar Puffs on the television.
Boris walked out of the job...
CeXual harassment victim sacked from CeX
Twitter user @gothepleb has detailed an account of where she says she was sexually harassed by a colleague when working for the high street...
Ellesmere Port Asda first to hire FAT PEOPLE as human bicycle racks
Chubby trouser tamers can now earn some extra pasty money by acting as bicycle racks outside Asda in Ellesmere Port.
The move was announced this...
12 arrests and 9 seriously injured in crazed Port Arcades bike protest
A peaceful bike protest turned into a bloodbath this afternoon after protestors and security guards clashed in Ellesmere Port. The bike protest, which was...
Coinstar CEO laughing tits off at poor who give him money
The CEO of Coinstar, Erik E. Prusch, has been laughing his absolute tits off at all of the poor people who chuck their money...
Man buys ‘the Christmas booze’ for the third time
A Chester man has just bought the Christmas booze for the third time, we can reveal.
The man, from Blacon, has just filled up his...
Sainsbury’s announces “it’s f*cking Christmas, Bitches!”
After months of shoppers asking when the Christmas offers would go up, Sainsbury’s in Ellesmere Port today answered that question – October 2nd.
Traditionally Sainsbury’s...
McDonald’s to trial vending machines in Ellesmere Port
Peddler of high calorie children’s’ meals, McDonald’s, is to trial new vending machines in Ellesmere Port due to the uproar caused by the recent...
