Costa Coffee announced this week it was planning to open a new branch of Costa inside an existing Costa.
We recently reported how the coffee chain was planning to expand its chain of coffee shops within Ellesmere Port to 23 by the end of the year. Since that report, several new Costas have opened, including one inside the EPSV for some reason.
The company will not rest until business meetings arranged at Costa Coffees have a one in three chance of being missed due to someone being in the wrong Costa.
In a bid to step up the company’s plan of having a Costa literally bloody everywhere, bosses have now decided the only place left they don’t have a Costa is inside an existing Costa.
The CEO of Costa Coffee, Christopher Rogers, commented:
We want people in Ellesmere Port to be surrounded by Costa Coffee shops. We want our customers able to walk just a few steps before reaching the next Costa after leaving the last one.
After laughing maniacally for a few moments, he continued:
No, a few steps is too far! What better way to show how serious we are than by having a new branch of Costa Coffee inside an existing branch of Costa Coffee? Has Starbuck’s done that? Have they fuck!
The rest of his announcement was just thirty minutes of hysterical cackling, occasionally punctuated with cries of ‘open another one’.
The new Costa inside a Costa will be inside the Costa Coffee on the Coliseum. No, not the one upstairs in the Next. The one across the car park from that one, next to Starbucks.
Do you think Ellesmere Port needs more Costa Coffee shops? Where would you put one next?