Dolphin gets tattoo of human on its arse
Blue Planet Aquarium, in Ellesmere Port, announced this morning that one of its dolphins had acquired a tattoo. The dolphin, named Jackson, has a...
Ellesmere Port Gym FORCED to have gender-neutral changing rooms
Gender campaigners have won a battle to force an Ellesmere Port gym to ditch its outdated ‘male’ and ‘female’ changing rooms in favour of...
Lorry driver begins 20-minute overtaking manoevre
The driver of a Pound Stretcher lorry has just commenced a marathon 20-minute overtaking manoeuvre on the M42. The lorry driver is attempting to...
Not a single problem that couldn’t be solved with more guns – claims Trump
Orange buffoon, Donald Trump, declared there isn’t a single problem in the world that couldn’t be solved by adding more guns to the mix.
Speaking...
Facebook requests for ‘Eye Tint TIA’ confirmed as code for ANAL BLEACHING
Eye Tint TIA actually means 'Anal Bleaching - Troublesome Itchy Anus' it has been revealed.
Frequent requests on Facebook groups for someone to do ‘Eye...
Scientists PROVE giving birth ‘not that painful’
LEADING scientists have today proven that the ‘pain’ women claim to feel during childbirth is, in fact, not that painful at all.
For many years...
Woman asking for recommendations on Facebook really wants the cheapest
An Ellesmere Port woman posting on Facebook for personal recommendations isn’t in the slightest bit interested in the quality, it has been confirmed. Twenty-six-year-old...
Ellesmere Port Asda first to hire FAT PEOPLE as human bicycle racks
Chubby trouser tamers can now earn some extra pasty money by acting as bicycle racks outside Asda in Ellesmere Port.
The move was announced this...
David Dickinson FURY as Corbyn admits HATRED of orange Jews
Bronzed TV host, David Dickinson, is enraged at the latest anti-Semitic outburst from Jeremy Corbyn.
In a recent appearance on the breakfast TV show, Saturday...
Coinstar CEO laughing tits off at poor who give him money
The CEO of Coinstar, Erik E. Prusch, has been laughing his absolute tits off at all of the poor people who chuck their money...
