Orange buffoon, Donald Trump, declared there isn’t a single problem in the world that couldn’t be solved by adding more guns to the mix.

Speaking in front of an audience of dribbling idiots, or the National Rifle Association to give them their full name, Trump’s speech was littered with lies, idiotic comments and mimes of him shooting people.

During his speech, Trump spoke of the rampant knife crime in London, and how one London hospital was a war zone with the floors stained with blood.


They don’t have guns. They have knives and instead there’s blood all over the floors of this hospital. They say it’s as bad as a military war zone hospital … knives, knives, knives. London hasn’t been used to that. They’re getting used to that. It’s pretty tough.

Trump went on to add that by making guns freely available, like they are in the US, London could make its streets safer. Trump didn’t mention how the US murder rate was five times higher than the UK, and how 2018 kicked off with a school shooting every two days for the first three weeks.

Speaking about Paris, which Trump now knows to be in France, he added his delicate comments to the terrorist murders in 2015.

They took their time and gunned them down one by one — boom, come over here, boom, come over here, boom.

Trump making gun mimes as he said ‘boom’ showed his sensitive handling of the subject matter.

Trump then said what all right-wing morons on social media suggest when gun control is mentioned, and suggested we ban trucks and cars as they’re also used by terrorists. The dribbling idiots in the crowd cheered this comment, as if it was the most intelligent and witty thing they had ever heard.

It probably was.

The Chester Bugle fully expects Trump to start arming teachers, doctors, nurses, school children and new-borns in the next few months. The more guns on the streets, the safer it will be.


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