Police helicopter befuddles bemused locals
The presence of the police helicopter in Ellesmere Port causes utter commotion every time it takes to the air, it has been confirmed. The...
Sexually adventurous couple indicates how many fingers they like up the bum during sex
In a recent survey, a sexually adventurous couple told an interviewer how many fingers they like each other to put up their bum during...
YODEL trials parcel delivery catapult
Parcel delivery firm YODEL is to trial a catapult to improve its ailing delivery service. The catapult, being trialled in Ellesmere Port and Chester,...
Local tip voted third best day out in Ellesmere Port
The Ellesmere Port tip has been voted the third best day out for local residents, in a recent survey, it has been revealed.
The tip...
12 arrests and 9 seriously injured in crazed Port Arcades bike protest
A peaceful bike protest turned into a bloodbath this afternoon after protestors and security guards clashed in Ellesmere Port. The bike protest, which was...
Prince Harry’s stag do to start in Ellesmere Port’s oldest surviving pub
The Horse & Jockey, the oldest surviving pub in Ellesmere Port, is to be the stage for the start of Prince Henry of Wales’...
EU orders UK supermarkets to stop baking French products
In another swipe at the UK’s decision to vote for Brexit, the EU has ordered three of the four big UK supermarkets to stop...
Queen watching Suits on Netflix to find out who Meghan Markle is
The Queen has been hurriedly watching Suits, on Netflix, in a bid to find out who this girl is who will be marrying her...
Kevin Davy White leaves The X Factor as part of EU’s Brexit demands
This year’s The X Factor competition has been thrown into turmoil after finalist Kevin Davey White has returned to France, amid demands from the...
Ellesmere Port and Newport go head-to-head for UK’s shittest Port
The towns of Ellesmere Port, in Cheshire, and Newport in South Wales are neck and neck in the final for the prestigious title of...
