Boris Johnson to represent UK in Eurovision 2019
UK to show Europe what an idiot who just makes stupid noises is all about.
Following the winner of this year’s Eurovision, Netta from Israel,...
Ellesmere Port Gym FORCED to have gender-neutral changing rooms
Gender campaigners have won a battle to force an Ellesmere Port gym to ditch its outdated ‘male’ and ‘female’ changing rooms in favour of...
Room without a roof not particularly ‘happy’ Pharrell informed
Popular rapper Pharrell Williams has been informed that a room missing its roof isn’t particularly happy, correcting his earlier confusion.
In an upbeat tune, Pharrell...
Lorry driver begins 20-minute overtaking manoevre
The driver of a Pound Stretcher lorry has just commenced a marathon 20-minute overtaking manoeuvre on the M42. The lorry driver is attempting to...
Not a single problem that couldn’t be solved with more guns – claims Trump
Orange buffoon, Donald Trump, declared there isn’t a single problem in the world that couldn’t be solved by adding more guns to the mix.
Speaking...
Boring James Milner parody account to SUE James Milner for copyright infringement
The PARODY Twitter account for James Milner, @BoringMilner, has announced it is suing the Liverpool player James Milner for copyright infringement.
For several years Boring...
Facebook requests for ‘Eye Tint TIA’ confirmed as code for ANAL BLEACHING
Eye Tint TIA actually means 'Anal Bleaching - Troublesome Itchy Anus' it has been revealed.
Frequent requests on Facebook groups for someone to do ‘Eye...
Ellesmere Port police issues WARNING over gang of wanted fugitives
Locals in Ellesmere Port have been warned by police to be vigilant over a gang of escaped convicts who are believed to be active...
Scientists PROVE giving birth ‘not that painful’
LEADING scientists have today proven that the ‘pain’ women claim to feel during childbirth is, in fact, not that painful at all.
For many years...
Woman asking for recommendations on Facebook really wants the cheapest
An Ellesmere Port woman posting on Facebook for personal recommendations isn’t in the slightest bit interested in the quality, it has been confirmed. Twenty-six-year-old...
