CONFIRMED: 97% of chefs wipe their cock on Piers Morgan’s food
A recent poll of the nation's chefs has confirmed that 97% admitted to wiping their cock on Piers Morgan's food before he eats it....
Mrs Brown’s Boys officially the second biggest cause of suicides over festive period
Figures released by emotional support charity, The Samaritans, show that the BBC 'comedy' Mrs Brown's Boys was responsible for the second highest number of...
Jacob Rees-Mogg questioned over Whitechapel murders
Victorian time traveller, Jacob Rees-Mogg, has been questioned by police over a series of grizzly murders that were committed in Whitechapel, London, between 1888...
Childless Couple Seeks ‘Most Annoying’ Christmas Present for Friends’ Kids
A childless, incredibly happy, couple from Chester are shopping for the most annoying Christmas present for their friends' kids.
Twenty-somethings Jenny and James Rowlands, from...
Gerry McCann to enter the jungle
Parenting expert, Gerry McCann, has been revealed as the latest celebrity to enter the jungle on ITV’s hit show I’m A Celebrity, Get Me...
Sacha Baron Cohen confirms Donald Trump is one of his characters
Comedy actor Sacha Baron Cohen, best known for playing Ali G and Borat, has today confirmed that President Donald Trump is in fact another...
Michael Gove returns to animated crime-fighting job
In a shock announcement that will further destabilise Prime Minister Theresa May’s shaky government, Environment Secretary Michael Gove has stood down from his post...
New Brexit Secretary, Snake Plissken, pledges Escape from Europe
Theresa May has taken the unorthodox step of appointing fictional outlaw Snake Plissken as the new Brexit Secretary. Plissken has a reputation of not...
ITV confirms Jungle Winner to be new Brexit Secretary
ITV has confirmed the winner of this year’s I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here will become the new Brexit Secretary, and will...
Gammons enraged nobody wants to own f*cking up the UK
The nation’s gammons are said to be furious that nobody wants to take ownership for utterly f*cking up the country.
Today saw Dominic Raab, the...
