A recent poll of the nation’s chefs has confirmed that 97% admitted to wiping their cock on Piers Morgan‘s food before he eats it. The poll, which surveyed 2,500 chefs from across the UK, has seen the number of chefs who put ‘todger to tortellini’ rise from 89% last year.

Annoying fat head, Morgan, caused a stir yesterday when he reacted angrily to the announcement from Greggs about their new ‘Vegan‘ sausage roll.

Piers’ reaction was immediately shot down by the legends on the Greggs’ Twitter team, which added the budget baker to the list of people who have ‘owned’ Piers on the micro blogging platform

Advertisement
Greggs owning Morgan

Following the spat between the master baker and the masturbater, figures from the latest poll around which chefs dip their poles into Piers’ pizza were released. The number of 97% who rub their rhubarb against Piers’ ravioli marks an all time high.

It also appeared as though Twitter users were already wise to the shlongs being slapped on Piers’ spaghetti before today’s announcement.

Are you a chef who has whacked his wang in Piers Waldorf Salad, or have made Piers’ Sloppy Giuseppe even sloppier? If so, let us know in the comments below.