ITV has confirmed the winner of this year’s I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here will become the new Brexit Secretary, and will lead the charge to get the UK out of Europe.

Traditionally, the winner of the bug and balls-eating ITV show wins a shoddily put together crown, and a stint advertising frozen food peddler Iceland on TV. However, this year the show will carry a more meaningful prize, with the winner taking up a government position and a role that will shape the future of the nation.

Expert in brokering deals, or no deals, Noel Edmonds is the odds-on favourite to win the coveted government position, where he has confirmed he will be aided by Mr Blobby.

Mr Blobby will aide Noel Edmonds as Brexit Secretary
Mr Blobby will aid Noel Edmonds as Brexit Secretary

Former football manager, and unlikely father to Jamie, Harry Redknapp, isn’t expected to win as the public lost confidence in his ability to strike a deal when he spent £1,000,000 on Marco Boogers while at West Ham.

Other possible Brexit Secretaries include the camp former Doctor Who actor John Barrowman, who believes he would make a good aide to Theresa May as he’s used to swallowing Bollocks.

The decision to make the ITV show winner the new Brexit Secretary has been criticised among some political analysts. However, show bosses defending the decision with co-host Dec commenting:

The British public can’t be bothered voting for important issues like choosing a leader, but they’ll vote in their millions on which z-list soap stars eats a kangaroo’s anus, so why not make it mean something?

The new series starts this Sunday, where viewers can watch minor celebrities try to survive in squalid conditions, surrounded by rats – the perfect rehearsal for working alongside Michael Gove.


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