7 cost-effective ways to annoy your neighbours
In the UK we fucking hate our neighbours, the self-serving,
condescending pricks. One of the great pleasures we get in life is annoying the
shit out...
Facebook Likes marginally better than prayers, confirms Pope
Pope Francis has today confirmed that Facebook 'likes' are marginally better than prayers when it comes to offering them in support of a worthwhile...
YOLO Tells Momo to F.O.
YOLO has returned from 2011 to tell Momo to Fuck Off, it has been confirmed.
YOLO, which means You Only Live Once and was coined...
Beluga XL not big enough for your Ma
The Beluga XL has arrived in Hawarden, after flying over Chester and Ellesmere Port, to pick up your Ma. Unfortunately, despite its enormous size...
Cleaner praises man who throws chewing gum into urinal
A seventy-two-year-old woman from Ellesmere Port, Viv Thomas, has heaped praise on an unknown man for constantly spitting his chewing gum into a urinal.
Viv...
Margaret Thatcher statue to be displayed in Ellesmere Port
The statue of former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, is to be displayed in Ellesmere Port, it has been revealed.
The statue, which cost a modest...
Geordie buys long-sleeved T-Shirt for Chicago trip
A 19-year-old Geordie lad, named Jon, has purchased a long-sleeved Tee for his trip to Chicago after learning of the extra-cold weather they're experiencing...
4×4 drivers especially smug this morning
Some light snowfall in certain areas of the UK, including Ellesmere Port and Chester, has resulted in increased smugness levels from 4x4 drivers.
The smugness...
Boris Johnson to return to selling Sugar Puffs
Flop-haired serial shagger, Boris Johnson, is to return to his original career advertising Sugar Puffs on the television.
Boris walked out of the job...
CONFIRMED: 97% of chefs wipe their cock on Piers Morgan’s food
A recent poll of the nation's chefs has confirmed that 97% admitted to wiping their cock on Piers Morgan's food before he eats it....
