In the UK we fucking hate our neighbours, the self-serving, condescending pricks. One of the great pleasures we get in life is annoying the shit out of them. However, in today’s uncertain world of economic desperation, annoying your neighbours doesn’t always come cheap.

Luckily we’ve put together a list of 7 cost-effective ways to annoy your neighbours. How many have you tried?

1 – Have an argument with your significant other

There’s no better way to annoy your neighbours than by having a 7am slanging match with your significant other, ideally while stood at the top of stairs. Remember to scream, shout and slam doors for maximum impact.


If your neighbour works nights, you’ll need to vary the times of your arguments for when they’re fast asleep.

2 – Get your kids to take up a musical instrument

Who doesn’t love the sound of children learning to play an instrument, such as a clarinet, violin or drum? Well, nobody does. That’s kinda the point. Kids playing instruments is incredibly annoying. You can make this even more cost-effective by having a friend or family member purchase the instrument as a birthday or Christmas gift.

3 – Conduct conversations with visitors from your bathroom window

Who says conversations should be held by people in the same room, or even in the same building? The best conversations are conducted while someone walks past your house and you scream at the top of your lungs from an upstairs window. Remember to follow up every sentence from your conversation pal with ‘What?’ so they say it again, only louder.

4 – Consistently park your car in front of their drive way

This one costs you nothing, and is extremely satisfying. By parking your car in front of their drive way you’re blocking them in for the whole day. What’s more, there’s absolutely nothing they can legally do about it as it’s an offence to move or damage your car.

5 – Have a BBQ while their washing is out… and don’t invite them

This one has the double whammy of both ruining their washing, and pissing them off because you’re having a good time. No one ever likes to see their neighbours enjoying themselves. It’s imprinted in our psyche to want our neighbours to be miserable, so really annoy them by laughing, drinking and tucking into cheap meats from Asdas, which have been poorly cooked over drum of barely hot enough coal.

6 – Place wind chimes in your garden

In the UK we have a lot of wind. What better way to let your neighbours know that a gust of wind has passed through your garden than with a wind chime placed next to their fence? This handy little tool will piss them off at all hours, even when you’re asleep or on holiday. Every single time a gentle breeze passes through, it makes an irritating noise certain to get right on their tits.

On hot summer’s days it will ensure they can’t open their bedroom window at night, for fear of the constant jangling of your fucking annoying wind chimes.

7 – Put your rubbish in their bins

Missed bin day? I bet your neighbour didn’t, the smug pricks. No matter, simply put your shit in their bins. That’ll teach the bastards. Make it even more vengeful by placing recyclable materials in their bins, such as cans, cardboard and glass, so they get one of those snarky little stickers from the bin men.

That’s just what they deserve… the wankers.

So there you have it. 7 cost-effective ways to really annoy your neighbours. Let us know which is your favourite, and which ones you’re going to try next.


  1. Sounds real funny, I love the passion.

    I used to be mannersable and they took the piss. I asked my neighbour to stop or I would report them in a nice confident calm way but they ignored me and were getting the sweets joy out of being bitchy. I’m like a fire work once angry so didn’t want to get to that point so ignored them for 2 years then they thought I was so soft or they were so nutty that they started banging on my wall at 6am and late at night. They were also trying to make my life heal by spreading roomers about me to other neighbours mainly because I’m attractive and my body and beauty resembles porscha williams from house wives of atlanta. The fact that I have no children yet and own my own home was killing them.

    I was a go getter from a young age and went from not being able to eat to the point that you could count my bones and I would eat leftovers from people’s plates to running my own business at the age of 21. I grew up in a care home so there was no family there for me, I had to learn how to get by the hard way.

    Basically their suffering from uncontrollable nutty extreme amounts of jealousy. They really ramped up their hate and jealousy when the pandemic started, I guess their demons told them it was the right time to get her while she’s weak and we have to stay in doors due to lock down restrictions …

    I’m a fish out of water when it comes to being pernicious, an antagonist or spiteful so it took me a long time to get it. 🙁 Thats not a bad thing, it just goes to show how good my character is.

    I have the biggest sound system at home but never played it out of respect and manners. They lit my fuse when they were outside saying to another neighbour gossiping and laughing that they have no respect for me. It really made me feel like a mug for having decent neighbourly manners and etiquette – I consider myself as being a classy British lady.

    I now play my earthquaking stereo with my home cinema I never put on for years and was gathering dust! I’m out of my comfort zone but was pushed up against a wall. I like being respectable and living in harmony especially when there’s a pandemic, your meant to come together not dig at people.

    I feel free now because I realised by me being polite they thought they were controlling me and being powerful. Im actually suffering from Stockholm syndrome but realise it now so working on being relaxed more around my home that they worked hard for me not to enjoy.
    I was only being a good neighbour. I have now learned I shouldn’t be too soft and treat people with the respect they deserve when you patiently wait for them to change but they don’t. (don’t wait too long). There’s a reason why they don’t stop and it can stare you right in the face but if your not as nasty and rotten as them it can take you ages, weeks months or years to understand. Try not to let it take you years if you can!

    It’s been an interesting life experience xxx


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