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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Nominate your dealer for Drug Dealer of the Year 2018

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If your dealer is voted Drug Dealer of the Year 2018 he, or she, will win £1,000 in cash and you will receive £1,000...

Tattoo Fixer Jay Hutton offers free tattoos for anyone who tweets the photo

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Star of Tattoo Fixers, Jay Hutton, has announced he’s offering free tattoos for anyone who is willing to share photographs of the tattoo on...

Chester to reintroduce Roman style communal toilets

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Chester is to spark a return to its Roman roots by reintroducing Roman style communal toilets. The move is part of a government scheme...

YODEL and CSA combine to create one big clusterfuck

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Lovers of absolute chaos and dimwittery are rejoicing today as the Child Support Agency announced a partnership deal with parcel destroyer YODEL. YODEL is consistently...

EXCLUSIVE: What bin men get up to on their SIX DAYS OFF

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We recently spent some time with some local Ellesmere Port bin men to see how they spend their ample free time. The results may...

Woman’s yeast infection disproves ‘What happens in Vegas’ theory

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Twenty-two-year-old Debbie, from Ellesmere Port, has contracted a terrible YEAST INFECTION on a recent trip to Las Vegas with the girlies. Debbie travelled out to...

CSA employee commended for causing most father suicides

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A Child Support Agency employee, from Birkenhead, has received the organisation’s top award for causing the most deaths among fathers. Jenifer Bradbury, 26, was...

Ellesmere Port terrorised by big metal sky dragon

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Ellesmere Port residents live in the grip of fear of a great mechanical beast that flies through the night skies, spreading terror to the...

McCanns to open childminding business

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Parenting experts, Kate and Gerry McCann, have announced they’re to open a new childminding business in Chester. The new business, named ‘Hide and Seek...

British ‘Hansel and Gretel’ leave predatory witch homeless

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An evil witch has been left homeless after a brother and sister, from Ellesmere Port, scoffed her entire house. The witch, 376-year-old Agnes, had lived...

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