KFC, in Ellesmere Port, has issued a challenge to its customers to eat a ‘meal’ in the ‘restaurant’ without feeling in disappointed in the direction their life has taken. So far nobody has successfully completed the challenge.

The fast food restaurant, famed for its chicken served in brightly coloured buckets, has been providing sustenance for the saddened in Ellesmere Port for several years. Now the company wants to find a customer who doesn’t feel the overwhelming burden of despair about their life choices.

Should the store find such a customer, they will be used as the figurehead for future advertising campaigns where KFC hopes to shake its image of the downtrodden customer.


However, the campaign has been running for several weeks and KFC has yet to find such a customer.

One customer, Ivor Ludgate, commented:

I was feeling pretty chipper this morning. After eating a bargain bucket for one I now feel like shit.

The manager of KFC, Ellesmere Port, commented:

Our customers always look so dejected when they’ve finished their buckets. It’s as though they hate themselves for what they’ve just done. We just want to find one person who’s happy. Just one.

The search goes on for KFC, with the successful customer standing to win a lucrative advertising contract with the brand, one that promises free KFC for the duration of the deal.


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