Trump gamifies executions with real games of HANGMAN
In an attempt to make state executions more interesting, and appealing to the public, President Trump has introduced the ‘gamification’ of executions.
Gamification is a...
YODEL and CSA combine to create one big clusterfuck
Lovers of absolute chaos and dimwittery are rejoicing today as the Child Support Agency announced a partnership deal with parcel destroyer YODEL.
YODEL is consistently...
EXCLUSIVE: What bin men get up to on their SIX DAYS OFF
We recently spent some time with some local Ellesmere Port bin men to see how they spend their ample free time. The results may...
Woman’s yeast infection disproves ‘What happens in Vegas’ theory
Twenty-two-year-old Debbie, from Ellesmere Port, has contracted a terrible YEAST INFECTION on a recent trip to Las Vegas with the girlies.
Debbie travelled out to...
CSA employee commended for causing most father suicides
A Child Support Agency employee, from Birkenhead, has received the organisation’s top award for causing the most deaths among fathers. Jenifer Bradbury, 26, was...
125% of people surveyed don’t understand percentages, survey finds
A recent survey of 2,000 Ellesmere Port residents has uncovered that 125% of people have no idea how percentages work.
The survey was conducted in...
Ellesmere Port terrorised by big metal sky dragon
Ellesmere Port residents live in the grip of fear of a great mechanical beast that flies through the night skies, spreading terror to the...
McCanns to open childminding business
Parenting experts, Kate and Gerry McCann, have announced they’re to open a new childminding business in Chester. The new business, named ‘Hide and Seek...
Train fares disprove ‘what goes up’ theory
The prices commuters have to pay for a train have, today, disproven the long-standing belief that ‘what goes up must come down’.
The theory, originally...
British ‘Hansel and Gretel’ leave predatory witch homeless
An evil witch has been left homeless after a brother and sister, from Ellesmere Port, scoffed her entire house.
The witch, 376-year-old Agnes, had lived...
