Lovers of absolute chaos and dimwittery are rejoicing today as the Child Support Agency announced a partnership deal with parcel destroyer YODEL.

YODEL is consistently voted the worst courier firm year after year in the poll, and bosses hope this deal with the Child Support Agency will take public hatred to new levels.

The Child Support Agency, which has been dubbed ‘not fit for purpose’ by former Works and Pension Minister, Lord Hunt, hopes its partnership with YODEL will see an increase in incompetence levels not previously experienced in a UK organisation.


The deal, which comes into effect from today, will see all correspondence from the Child Support Agency handled by YODEL. All letters, including deduction of earnings orders and personal data files, will be collected by YODEL’s crack team of imbeciles and thrown, not loaded, onto a van or random car. The packages will then be sent somewhere. We’re not sure where. Details are sketchy of this part of the plan.

Finally, something will be delivered, or not, at an address probably not related to the one incorrectly marked on the package by the CSA in the first place.

Logistics experts claim the chances of your correspondence arriving on time, in tact and at the correct address are approximately 3,720 to 1.

YODEL’s CEO, Michael Cooper, said of the partnership.

We honestly didn’t think we’d find a partner as shit as us. We’re delighted with this deal. Together, YODEL and the CSA will reach new heights of dumbfuckery. We’re very excited.


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