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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Mr Men range updated with Mr Unemployed and Little Miss Brexit

In an effort to appeal to a more modern audience, the line of Mr Men and Little Miss books is receiving a make-over, with...

Teenager explains why UK government’s porn block is bollocks

A random teenager, named Kevin, has explained why the recently announced porn block that hopes to restrict teenagers under the age of 18 from...

ITV confirms Jungle Winner to be new Brexit Secretary

ITV has confirmed the winner of this year’s I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here will become the new Brexit Secretary, and will...

Gammons tell Shamima Begum to stay on International Space Station

British Schoolgirl, Shamima Begum, has been told by the UK's gammons to remain on the International Space Station. Shamima...

Margaret Thatcher statue to be displayed in Ellesmere Port

The statue of former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, is to be displayed in Ellesmere Port, it has been revealed.

Trump gamifies executions with real games of HANGMAN

In an attempt to make state executions more interesting, and appealing to the public, President Trump has introduced the ‘gamification’ of executions. Gamification is a...

EU states ‘Eggy Bread’ to be named ‘French Toast’

In what politicians have dubbed a ‘cheap parting shot’, the EU has decreed that Eggy Bread must now be called French Toast in the...

Paul Burrell announces Ellesmere Port mayoral candidacy

Beloved TV celebrity, Paul Burrell, has announced he is to stand for mayor of Ellesmere Port when the current mayor, Peter Rooney, ends his...

English FA announces team will boycott second half of World Cup (Again)

The English Football Association has announced the England Football team will boycott the second half of the World Cup in Russia, in protest against...

Multi-millionaire Nigel Farage ‘on my side’ insists feckless moron

Feckless moron, Steve Dobbs, insists Nigel Farage is on his side and is a ‘man of the people’. Despite working a zero hours contract that...

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