Disaster movies where government ignores scientists reclassified as documentaries
Big-budget Hollywood disaster movies, such as 2012 and San Andreas, have been reclassified as documentaries by the Internet Movie Database (IMDB).
In the movies, scientists...
Cleaner praises man who throws chewing gum into urinal
A seventy-two-year-old woman from Ellesmere Port, Viv Thomas, has heaped praise on an unknown man for constantly spitting his chewing gum into a urinal.
Viv...
Margaret Thatcher statue to be displayed in Ellesmere Port
The statue of former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, is to be displayed in Ellesmere Port, it has been revealed.
The statue, which cost a modest...
Country with no players but billions of dollars mysteriously wins Asian Cup
Qatar, a country with no footballers of note and no history in football, has mysteriously won the Asian Cup Final, defeating four-time winners Japan.
Qatar...
Geordie buys long-sleeved T-Shirt for Chicago trip
A 19-year-old Geordie lad, named Jon, has purchased a long-sleeved Tee for his trip to Chicago after learning of the extra-cold weather they're experiencing...
Government hires YODEL to deliver Brexit
In a move of unrivaled incompetence, the Tory government has hired parcel-delivery shirkers YODEL to deliver Brexit. YODEL, it was revealed by this week's...
4×4 drivers especially smug this morning
Some light snowfall in certain areas of the UK, including Ellesmere Port and Chester, has resulted in increased smugness levels from 4x4 drivers.
The smugness...
Piers Morgan still a cunt
It was today confirmed that annoying fat head, Piers Morgan, is still a cunt.
Rumours were circulating online yesterday that the argumentative
tosspot was no longer...
Arsenal defeat unites nation in mockery of Piers Morgan
Arsenal's latest humiliating defeat has brought the country together in its dislike of famed moron, Piers Morgan.
The defeat for Arsenal has sparked the interest...
Boris Johnson to return to selling Sugar Puffs
Flop-haired serial shagger, Boris Johnson, is to return to his original career advertising Sugar Puffs on the television.
Boris walked out of the job...
