Tommy Robinson to ‘read’ the BFG on CBeebies Bedtime Stories
Loveable champion of the people, Tommy Robinson, is to 'read' a CBeebies Bedtime Story this week. Tommy will be reading the Roald Dahl classic...
McDonald’s to trial vending machines in Ellesmere Port
Peddler of high calorie children’s’ meals, McDonald’s, is to trial new vending machines in Ellesmere Port due to the uproar caused by the recent...
500 DEAD as Stanlow fire sparks Ellesmere Port Purge
A raging fire at the Stanlow Oil Refinery yesterday sparked Ellesmere Port’s first annual PURGE, which saw over 500 people killed during the evening’s...
Ellesmere Port votes ‘NO’ on incest ban
A proposed ban on inbreeding in Ellesmere Port, the last UK town where the practice is permitted, has been heavily defeated in this weekend’s...
Corbyn laid wreath for Megatron at Autobot City
SHOCKING news emerged this morning as it was revealed Jeremy Corbyn laid a wreath for diabolical Decepticon leader Megatron at the scene of his...
Sooty confirmed as new James Bond
Popular children’s entertainer Sooty has been confirmed as taking over from Daniel Craig in the 007 franchise. Daniel Craig’s next film, due later this...
Grapes reclassified as ‘wine foetuses’ by alcohol rights campaigners
A bold campaign by alcohol rights groups is expected to be successful in labelling grapes as wine foetuses, giving grapes the same rights as...
2,500 people inadvertently sign petition BACKING Gypsy and Traveller site in Ellesmere Port
A double-negative has meant that over 2,500 people have signed an online petition BACKING the creation of a proposed transit site in Ellesmere Port...
Tories launch Twat replacement service
As the Tories lose yet another twat, Therese May has followed the nation’s woeful train operators in launching a ‘twat replacement service’.
Train operators, such...
Queen wins Chester’s inaugural gurning competition
Her Majesty the Queen arrived in Chester this afternoon to enter the town’s inaugural gurning competition, where people attempt to make the most unpleasant...
