Teenager explains why UK government’s porn block is bollocks
A random teenager, named Kevin, has explained why the recently announced porn block that hopes to restrict teenagers under the age of 18 from...
Woman gives money to homeless man and DOESN’T post it on Facebook
An Ellesmere Port woman this week gave some money, and some food, to a local homeless man but neglected to tell the world on...
Jeremy Kyle clears calendar after visit to Ellesmere Port
Bug-eyed aggressive chav baiter, Jeremy Kyle, has cleared his calendar for the next 6 months after spending 20 minutes in the Port Arcades in...
Sexually adventurous couple indicates how many fingers they like up the bum during sex
In a recent survey, a sexually adventurous couple told an interviewer how many fingers they like each other to put up their bum during...
I’ve already completed new Man City sponsor Tinder, claims Raheem Sterling
Diminutive money-grabber, Raheem Sterling, claims to have already completed the game Tinder as they were announced as Manchester City’s new shirt sleeve sponsor earlier...
José Mourinho advising government on quick European exit
With Brexit talks reaching a critical point this week, the government has turned to an expert on exiting Europe. Manchester United manager José Mourinho...
Michael Gove returns to animated crime-fighting job
In a shock announcement that will further destabilise Prime Minister Theresa May’s shaky government, Environment Secretary Michael Gove has stood down from his post...
Ellesmere Port police issues WARNING over gang of wanted fugitives
Locals in Ellesmere Port have been warned by police to be vigilant over a gang of escaped convicts who are believed to be active...
BMW issues apology after selling car to man who isn’t a twat
German car manufacturer, BMW, has issued a full and unreserved apology after it emerged they sold a car to a man who isn’t a...
Spice Girls to perform at Whitby Sports & Social Club
90s girl group, the Spice Girls, have added Ellesmere Port’s Whitby Sports & Social Club to their tour dates for 2019.
The Spice Girls, who...
