Compulsory purchase order may pave way for Disneyland: Ellesmere Port
A secret compulsory purchase order may see as many as 175 Ellesmere Port homes bought up by the Disney Corporation to construct one of...
BMW issues apology after selling car to man who isn’t a twat
German car manufacturer, BMW, has issued a full and unreserved apology after it emerged they sold a car to a man who isn’t a...
Coinstar CEO laughing tits off at poor who give him money
The CEO of Coinstar, Erik E. Prusch, has been laughing his absolute tits off at all of the poor people who chuck their money...
Scientists: Keith Richards’ DNA key to Coronavirus cure
Leading scientists have confirmed that immortal rocker, Keith Richards, holds the key to a cure for Coronavirus.
Keith Richards, whose age is reported at a...
Tories launch Twat replacement service
As the Tories lose yet another twat, Therese May has followed the nation’s woeful train operators in launching a ‘twat replacement service’.
Train operators, such...
NRA approved targets featuring school children to go on sale
The NRA (National Rifle Association) is to release a set of shooting targets depicting school and college kids to help passionate shooters maximise their...
Spice Girls to perform at Whitby Sports & Social Club
90s girl group, the Spice Girls, have added Ellesmere Port’s Whitby Sports & Social Club to their tour dates for 2019.
The Spice Girls, who...
500 DEAD as Stanlow fire sparks Ellesmere Port Purge
A raging fire at the Stanlow Oil Refinery yesterday sparked Ellesmere Port’s first annual PURGE, which saw over 500 people killed during the evening’s...
‘Is this a library?’ updated post-Brexit to ‘is this a factory?’
The popular sarcastic football chant 'Is this a library?', sung by away fans at football grounds, has been updated following Brexit.
The chant is a...
Queen wins Chester’s inaugural gurning competition
Her Majesty the Queen arrived in Chester this afternoon to enter the town’s inaugural gurning competition, where people attempt to make the most unpleasant...
