Gammons tell Shamima Begum to stay on International Space Station
British Schoolgirl, Shamima Begum, has been told by the UK's gammons to remain on the International Space Station.
Shamima left the UK in 2015, from...
Disaster movies where government ignores scientists reclassified as documentaries
Big-budget Hollywood disaster movies, such as 2012 and San Andreas, have been reclassified as documentaries by the Internet Movie Database (IMDB).
In the movies, scientists...
Margaret Thatcher statue to be displayed in Ellesmere Port
The statue of former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, is to be displayed in Ellesmere Port, it has been revealed.
The statue, which cost a modest...
Government hires YODEL to deliver Brexit
In a move of unrivaled incompetence, the Tory government has hired parcel-delivery shirkers YODEL to deliver Brexit. YODEL, it was revealed by this week's...
Piers Morgan still a cunt
It was today confirmed that annoying fat head, Piers Morgan, is still a cunt.
Rumours were circulating online yesterday that the argumentative
tosspot was no longer...
Arsenal defeat unites nation in mockery of Piers Morgan
Arsenal's latest humiliating defeat has brought the country together in its dislike of famed moron, Piers Morgan.
The defeat for Arsenal has sparked the interest...
Boris Johnson to return to selling Sugar Puffs
Flop-haired serial shagger, Boris Johnson, is to return to his original career advertising Sugar Puffs on the television.
Boris walked out of the job...
CONFIRMED: 97% of chefs wipe their cock on Piers Morgan’s food
A recent poll of the nation's chefs has confirmed that 97% admitted to wiping their cock on Piers Morgan's food before he eats it....
Mrs Brown’s Boys officially the second biggest cause of suicides over festive period
Figures released by emotional support charity, The Samaritans, show that the BBC 'comedy' Mrs Brown's Boys was responsible for the second highest number of...
Jacob Rees-Mogg questioned over Whitechapel murders
Victorian time traveller, Jacob Rees-Mogg, has been questioned by police over a series of grizzly murders that were committed in Whitechapel, London, between 1888...
