‘Venice lacks common sense having so much water’ – says Jacob Rees-Mogg
The recent flooding of Venice, Italy, has been blamed on a 'lack of common sense' on the part of the Venetians by Tory MP,...
Lorry driver begins 20-minute overtaking manoevre
The driver of a Pound Stretcher lorry has just commenced a marathon 20-minute overtaking manoeuvre on the M42. The lorry driver is attempting to...
Beluga XL not big enough for your Ma
The Beluga XL has arrived in Hawarden, after flying over Chester and Ellesmere Port, to pick up your Ma. Unfortunately, despite its enormous size...
British passengers forced to strip for EU airport security following Brexit
Anyone travelling to within the EU on a British passport will now be forced to strip naked for airport security, it has been revealed.
The...
Woman’s yeast infection disproves ‘What happens in Vegas’ theory
Twenty-two-year-old Debbie, from Ellesmere Port, has contracted a terrible YEAST INFECTION on a recent trip to Las Vegas with the girlies.
Debbie travelled out to...
Blacks to use back 6 rows confirms Ryanair
Budget airline Ryanair has confirmed plans to dispel the current belief that it tolerates racism aboard its aircraft. The plans, outlined this morning, include...
Train fares disprove ‘what goes up’ theory
The prices commuters have to pay for a train have, today, disproven the long-standing belief that ‘what goes up must come down’.
The theory, originally...
Light snow opens up new chapter in Merseyrail excuses manual
A light dusting of snow this weekend allowed Merseyrail to open up a seldom used chapter in their excuses manual. The much-maligned train operator...
Ellesmere Port becomes first UK town to ditch roundabout rules
In a bold move, Ellesmere Port has become the first town in Britain to ditch roundabout regulations, it has been revealed. Council leaders announced...
Merseyrail asks passengers to suggest new excuses for delayed service
Merseyrail, the occasional operator of train services around Liverpool, Chester and Ellesmere Port, has asked passengers to suggest new excuses for their terrible service.
Train...
