Tommy Robinson to ‘read’ the BFG on CBeebies Bedtime Stories
Loveable champion of the people, Tommy Robinson, is to 'read' a CBeebies Bedtime Story this week. Tommy will be reading the Roald Dahl classic...
Fans FURY as Meat Loaf now Halal
Singer Meat Loaf has sparked anger among his army of fans by becoming Halal.
Meat Loaf, or ‘Meat’ to his friends, has never appealed to...
Corbyn laid wreath for Megatron at Autobot City
SHOCKING news emerged this morning as it was revealed Jeremy Corbyn laid a wreath for diabolical Decepticon leader Megatron at the scene of his...
Sooty confirmed as new James Bond
Popular children’s entertainer Sooty has been confirmed as taking over from Daniel Craig in the 007 franchise. Daniel Craig’s next film, due later this...
Man with ZERO interest in football hopes tonight he can stop pretending
A CHESTER man, who describes himself as ‘bohemian’, has been feigning an interest in football for the past four weeks and tonight hopes he...
Queen wins Chester’s inaugural gurning competition
Her Majesty the Queen arrived in Chester this afternoon to enter the town’s inaugural gurning competition, where people attempt to make the most unpleasant...
Dolphin gets tattoo of human on its arse
Blue Planet Aquarium, in Ellesmere Port, announced this morning that one of its dolphins had acquired a tattoo. The dolphin, named Jackson, has a...
Boris Johnson to represent UK in Eurovision 2019
UK to show Europe what an idiot who just makes stupid noises is all about.
Following the winner of this year’s Eurovision, Netta from Israel,...
Room without a roof not particularly ‘happy’ Pharrell informed
Popular rapper Pharrell Williams has been informed that a room missing its roof isn’t particularly happy, correcting his earlier confusion.
In an upbeat tune, Pharrell...
Ellesmere Port police issues WARNING over gang of wanted fugitives
Locals in Ellesmere Port have been warned by police to be vigilant over a gang of escaped convicts who are believed to be active...
