The UK’s dreariest pub chain, JD Wetherspoon, has announced it intends to compete with the current trend of having meals prepared at your table.

Certain up-market pubs, and ‘dining experiences‘ such as Teppanyaki restaurants, make an event of meals by cooking food in front of expectant diners. This is something Wetherspoon hopes to muscle in on, and take some of the market share.

Plans were recently announced that The Square Bottle, in Chester, would be the first Wetherspoon in the UK to offer a ‘unique experience’ where diners could have their meals prepared for them at their table. From next month, diners will be able to book a special ‘experience’ section of the pub and have their meals microwaved for them while they watch.

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Meals such as hot pots, curries and steak ‘n ale pies will all be offered as microwavable options right there at the table, with a special ‘chef’ popping the meals in the microwave, setting the timer and pressing the button.

To further enhance the dining experience, patrons will be treated to ‘synced microwaving’ where anything up to six meals can be prepared to be ready at the same time using a network of microwaves.

The pub’s head chef, Fat Kev, commented:

Different food takes different lengths don’t it? Your pie might be two minutes, while your curry is three minutes. I time them to ‘pop’ at once, you see? It’s highly skilled work.

The pub’s customers are very excited to be the first to try out the new dining experience in Chester, with regular customer Dave ‘pantless’ Barnes slurring:

I can’t wait. Food microwaved in front of you by an expert. It’s the bloody future I tells ya.