Cheddar Man declared ‘Fit for work’ by DWP

The Cheddar Man, who has not been officially named for legal reasons, has been declared fit for work by the Department for Work and Pensions.

The man, who recently hit the news for having dark skin yet still claiming to be British, was suspected to be dead by the DWP. However, after making the mistake of appearing on national TV and in the press looking very much alive, a DWP spokesperson has confirmed he is expected to attend a work assessment interview next week, or face being fined for past benefits.

The Cheddar Man has listed his date of birth as over 10,000 years ago, but this is also something the DWP disputes.

A spokesperson for the DWP commented:

If he thinks he’s getting benefits for the last 10,000 years he can think again. We saw him on the TV looking all alive and well, and he looked no more than 35 to me. He either reports to us within seven working days, or we’re issuing an arrest order.

A woman from Ellesmere Port has also come forward and claimed the man is the father of her eight children, Eli, Josh, Kylie, Brittny, Jasmine, Jodi, Nike and Jaeger. The woman, a twenty-six-year-old single mother from Station Road, says she met the Cheddar Man in the Station pub nine years ago and he fathered her eight children over a period of three years.

The Cheddar Man has yet to comment.