British police have confirmed that, contrary to popular belief, they are not getting younger. In a statement released earlier today, the police announced that their ages are not reducing, even though it may seem that way.

The statement read:

We, the police, are not getting younger. So please stop mentioning it.

The police added that members of the British public, especially those who believed that the police were getting younger, were in fact getting older.


This news came as a total shock to many around Chester and Ellesmere Port today, with some unable to believe the notion.

Beryl Jenkins, aged 74 from Neston, was completely taken aback by the statement:

I don’t believe it

She commented.

I could have sworn they were getting younger, like that Benjamin Britton [sic]

Beryl wasn’t the only person completely stunned by the announcement. Donald Myers, 66 from Chester, added:

Back when I were a lad policemen was older than me. Now they is younger. Of course they’re getting younger.

The Bugle tried to get a comment from a local police officer on the story, but it’s after 5:30pm now and they’ve all been called in for tea by their mums.

What do our readers think? Are the police correct with their statement, or are they all a big liar-liar pants on fire, and they really are getting younger? Let us know in the comments.


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